Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you
loloalltheway 23
Overly attached stranger?
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Comments (112)
hama806 19
Looks like you have a new boyfriend.
MissIconic 8
You got yourself a potential stalker :o
perdix 31
For the first five minutes, he was a "potential" stalker. After 2 hours, he's clearly an actual one. In physics terms, we'd call him a kinetic stalker.
DocBastard 40
Where I come from, saying "bless you" is our way of getting engaged. I hope you two have a happy life together. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding.
Llama_Face89 34
Ha where are you from, Doc?
bestnameright 14
India but he was jk
sheethapins 13
If you tell 60 where you live Doc you may end up repeating this FML.
AmericanJedhead 10
Thats a little extreme. Maybe you should call the police. Or, if you're single, you should consider running off into the night with the nice man from the subway.
heyheywaddup 7
CALL THE POPO!!!
Angel157 8
5-1-5-0 somebody call the popo
crimsonlover4 31
Hey OP that's exactly how I met MY soulmate! What a small world! Lol No, but seriously FYL OP and call the cops before things escalate! O_o
crimsonlover4 31
On another note, this would probably make a better love story than Twilight! *cringes*
docscientist 10
An Ebola outbreak is a better love story than Twilight.
perdix 31
Let him take you out to dinner and then talk of nothing but your giant fart that cleared out your entire office.
crimsonlover4 31
It just occurred to me OP that maybe the nice subway man is waiting for YOU to sneeze? Eh, yea not likely lol Watch yourself...before he wrecks you.
twinkiefeets 17
Nice tush!
SenselessPattern 12
I swear to god it still looks like a sunset to me until I click on the picture. I ******* love sunsets.
crimsonlover4 31
38- thanks! 43- I still don't see a sunset lol but hey, ok haha though I've been trying to change my pic for a few days now :/ the app sort of sucks
RubenTheGreek 8
At first i thought it was a sunset then the eye of sauron
maddygirl820 10
That's what happens when you're nice OP