Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you
loloalltheway 23
Overly attached stranger?
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Comments (112)
day624 14
If you knew he was following you, why would you go home?
polkaDOTfan 4
If you notice a stranger following you don't go home go to a public place and call the police
Meme1988 18
Hhh cool
CountMango 5
Classic Schmosby
cheer21moose 13
Did you not see him following you home? Cuz if you did then your a dumbass for letting a creep know where you live
iHeartMuzik 0
Not sure if that's sweet, or overly attached.
HSOMGF 5
You could call the police, you know. Just saying.
sugarshane007 20
Perhaps he would be more successful if he did it Gangnam Style. The ladies would love him then.
veritoswty6 14
I think he got the wrong message! FYL
Accuraxy 10
No, really?!
omart3 6
forever alone level 439932