Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
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Top comments
JennaNGood 21
Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!
Indianboy9321 25
Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?
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Comments (59)
VyronBuckingham 9
Oh, I've had that before. Don't let it get to you, you knew it was an accident!
Squtchy 11
F his life XD
JennaNGood 21
Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!
abombination 13
Apparently this guy gets green and grumpy.
iLike2Teabag 27
Maybe the guy is proud of his farts and felt insulted when OP mistook it for a sneeze after he rubbed a nice one.
iLike2Teabag 27
Crap. As interesting as it would be "rub a nice one" in a lineup, I meant ripped*. Damn autocorrect.
AnOriginalName 19
As interesting as it would be *to rub a nice one, I think you meant, #16/15.
Brandi_Faith 34
Seriously. The guy could have said "thank you" and passed it off for a sneeze seeing as that's what OP thought it was anyway.
rosheno 4
Maybe he prefers "When you die, nothing happens."
Jghaugland 6
#42, You are awesome.
CommanderWoof 10
I assume the man thought the OP was mocking him.
amansingh 8
The devil.
MartinDJ 26
I give you how you actually can confuse a fart with a sneeze like holy Christ that's impressive but you were on your phone so I get how you can mix up things and noises
LittleSushi_fml 13
People get angry when you attempt to be polite?
Indianboy9321 25
Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?
Gityerchicken 12
Farts come in all fashions and sounds. It could've happened to anyone OP. Bless you for blessing his gas.
abombination 13
Bless this holy gas!
Oswin_fml 10
FYL. Sorry OP. At least you don't know him and probably won't ever see him again.
PenguinBitch 44
Better out than in.
pjsr 33
For who!?!
BobbieH 19
I suppose you should have given last rights instead of blessing them; given what died in their ass!
barfcannon 24
Dirty look to match his ass