Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you
loloalltheway 23
Overly attached stranger?
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Comments (112)
AmericanJedhead 10
Also, if he did live there, then why would he have stood OUTSIDE the apartment complex for two hours?
dabeast15 7
Just tell him to **** of or ull call the police!
brand0n93 5
lol some people take things too seriously
CuriousAlien 7
Lol are you the first person to ever say bless you to him.
crimsonlover4 31
32- well he could come from Borat's glorious nation of Kazakhstan...and it really might be the first time someone's said that lol
lilmama8869 7
Yea I'd have called the police when he started following me. Sweetie call the police better safe than sorry I always say :)
ryguy7878 8
I'm a complete moron. Just throwin' it out there, errbodeh.
SanityIsOverated 3
...what?
tpuff 7
You probably shouldn't have shown him where you live
dmac1342 4
You might wanna call the police
gc327072 31
Quit talking to yourself, Noor! Have you been off your medicine again?
jennykneeshaw 4
Hey it happens. Can't expect to meet your soulmate on the Internet! ;)