Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you
loloalltheway 23
Overly attached stranger?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
noisebox 1
Hope you've learned a lesson there, the guy now knows where live too.
adamk1989 0
Is it Louis CK?
dansco 25
Tease :-/
Quimpo 14
that's one nice creepy man lol
BFMV1225 7
Cant say i blame him. These days its hard to come across anyone that still has some manners.
aibasmith 7
Have fune
Notorias 4
Ru
baykavy143 3
yeah that is very creey
fantasyworld 39
If someone is following you, never go to your house.
InfiniteSecret 20
Why did you actually go to your house! Why not go ANYWHERE ELSE. You literally lead them to your house.