Today, I came home to find my wife and my ex-wife naked in my bed. Apparently they've been in a relationship for five months. When I told my kids, they said that they were helping to keep the secret. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML
Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
Today, I found out that a few years ago, when I lost my kids to my ex-wife, it was because my current wife secretly hated having to be their stepmom, so she conspired with my ex to ruin the custody hearing in my ex's favour. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, I came back home from an errand and found my ex in bed, embracing my 20 year-old daughter. They said that nothing has been going on. Glad he's an ex. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of five years is also my half-sister. She has no idea, I don't know how to tell her, and I've never been more turned on. FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
How old are your kids? I'm a little concerned that they were well aware of the fact that your wife was having an affair and that they didn't report it to you.
interesting33 37
you have got to wonder how people can be so cruel to each other.
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Comments (20)
interesting33 37
you have got to wonder how people can be so cruel to each other.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
How old are your kids? I'm a little concerned that they were well aware of the fact that your wife was having an affair and that they didn't report it to you.
evilplatypus 39
If my mom had ever bothered with an affair, I wouldn’t have said squat. My dad is a useless POS and she deserves soooo much better.
limegreenpoopie 31
Did you join them?
real life problems 26
From the sounds of it, he wouldnt know what to do
real life problems 26
Two women you couldn't keep satisfied and turned lesbian. *Slow clap*
Suaria 38
Women don't become lesbians because they aren't satisfied by men. Women who are lesbians have always been lesbian. It sounds like his wives are bisexual.
real life problems 26
Thanks I learned something today
PineappleOfMyEye 6
Is your name Ross Geller by chance?
WeirdUS 30
If this is legit, I'd say the problem is with you. Not only are your wife and ex wife in bed your kids knew and hid it.
Charlie Given 28
Wow that's a lot of bullshit sorry for ya OP time for a lawyer
mssileas 25
Wow, that's f*cked up - I don't know how old your kids are, but I don't think they're to blame. Judging from friends' experiences with one cheating parent, that's a really shitty situation for them. If they're young, they might not even understand the significance of cheating, mom could have told them she has a secret friend over and kids don't second-guess this then. If they are old enough, that puts them in an even worse spot, because ratting out their mom destroys their home life too, not doing it is making them feel guilty for keeping you in the dark. But I understand you'd feel betrayed from all sides. Hopefully you can make a clean cut and leave both those whacko women to themselves.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Aww that's cute...I mean not for OP but for the ladies.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
grab a condom and join in