Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ruabadfishtoo 0
Well, at least your neighbours were humorous about it. Still, invest in soundproof walls.
KingDingALing 9
Toss him a packet of Viagra and say "Now you can re-live those days."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
ktlok152 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
First
ruabadfishtoo 0
"First" is so 2009.
FlyinTurtle 7
Notice how no one cares
unicornpower56 7
Why do people care if he says "First"? Who cares, we all have the choice to do what we want, even though what this guy wants to do is comment "First".
BlowinChronic 18
And we have the choice to thumb him down so I'm not too worried.
Ryan_Jaxson 8
Last! -_-
Osito2011 9
Last is so 2000 and late o.O
gc327072 31
Really wish the mods would change his comment to say something silly....
DocBastard 40
Unicornpower - The mods care about it more than the rest of us. Have you EVER seen a "First!" last for more than a few minutes? No, because the mods delete them. Every one of them.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Here - a blue shell up yo' a$$!
ruabadfishtoo 0
Well, at least your neighbours were humorous about it. Still, invest in soundproof walls.
PuggieKid 22
Congrats. You're scarred for life.
gc327072 31
Or the ghetto way: attach empty egg cartons to the walls.
Welshite 40
I didn't know that was considered ghetto. *surreptitiously takes down egg cartons*
shelbyj 6
That was my idea!! Haha
MDTeddy 13
So does this mean someone is freaking loud as heck? If you can't tone it done then the soundproof walls might be the way to go.
laden_swallow09 35
Protip: Using "ghetto" as an adjective is ghetto.
LogicalMembrane 3
I thought using "ghetto" as an adjective was the whitest thing you could do.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
They seem like a lovely couple.
MormonPornstar 7
Dat Carol too stronk, needs nerf
Cartera 10
55 - Diablo 3 problems?
MormonPornstar 7
Never got into it. Was asked to though. Oldschool WoW, DotA, Lol, and WC3 (RoC and TFT) player. Yeah... I'm a nerd, but I'm one of the few that can break your jaw and let you choke on your teeth. So dont start with the stereotyping bullshit.
ycrem0n 21
Ahhh... those were the days..
tmaq973 7
Your picture is really helping with some of your comments. Really makes them hit home.
metalhead4740 14
Your profile picture is perfect for this FML...
ohSNAPyall 27
Po Carol.
yenidewi 11
hehehhe ... free **** sound ... lol
bobgooeyflonder 6
Yup, still getting double comments from you. Still pointless.
rocker_chick105 31
Your comments are doubled and they're not that great anyway... just no.......
klovemachine 24
60 = Fail :)
iHeartMuzik 0
Lol, I find it hilarious how your comments always double, and then get the most negative votes.
KingDingALing 9
Toss him a packet of Viagra and say "Now you can re-live those days."
SApprentice 34
Every time I catch sight of "packet of Viagra" as I'm skimming through the comments, I read it as "pocket of ******" for some reason, and it makes me pause for a moment.
gc327072 31
45- I think by "pause" you mean "double take"
Ge0rger0kz 5
I think your penis is trying to tell you something.
Mideoyeo 12
Have sex in the room furthest from their room :D
shneakycactus 2
and disturb the neighbors on the other side?
Mideoyeo 12
Fine, they can alternate sides of the apartment so the neighbours on either side can take turns listening to them have sex.
SApprentice 34
At least they're understanding. I think it's actually kind of sweet, although in a slightly disturbing and odd way. It sounds like him and his wife still love each other. Just remember how easy it is for the two of you to be heard and try to be more quiet from now on.
SammyS2012 21
That's the best thing they can do. It might be a little inconvenient to quiet down, but do they really want the whole neighbourhood to know they're having sex? And it makes me wonder about the elderly couple. It makes me so happy to see a couple still love each other after so many years of marriage. I wonder how long they've been married...
laden_swallow09 35
So, you and your man have loud, mind-blowing sex and the sweet, elderly couple who live next door can relive the old days while still enjoying the loving marriage they still have. I see no problem here.
Nighthunter 11
Yes, it's all about body control!