Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
Rynk95 11
Not worth the effort.
GoWithTheFro 10
Well he'SNOT good enough for you :D
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Comments (116)
Rynk95 11
Not worth the effort.
Reality_bites 14
Agreed Rynk95. Dodged a bullet there OP - Just think if he's like that when you sneeze, well how is he going to be about kissingsex? Or other things such as eating at restaurants etc. Im rather curious as to how he reacts when he sneezes himself...
Badjuju7711 0
He punched himself in the nose then he has to clean that up too.
julian24245 0
I was about to say that, bastard.
mfjkr 10
Danger Will Robinson!!
BarDownDaily 12
Look on the bright side atleast your apartments clean now.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
69 - Perhaps that was her friend's plan all along.
123josie123 11
You should've coughed up green slime and aimed for his eye. That'll teach him ;)
MLK12345 4
Was his name Sheldon Cooper?
Jovecove 13
At least cleaning your apartment would be good too, since it took you 4 hours to clean up lol
perry_sameh20 18
Agree
GoWithTheFro 10
Well he'SNOT good enough for you :D
22jrdn55 15
bless you!
makowiec 11
Clever :P
sambasam 0
I see what you did there...
22jrdn55 15
who doesn't?
zakkyzebra 11
Blind men...
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
We gonna be sexist now?! There CAN be blind woman?! Besides, Blind woman are a lot more fun to push into oncoming traffic....
jbaby69 0
well was he cute?
gazzdogs 5
Well that doesn't matter now.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Neither of you can read?
XThe_Invoker 4
Hahah! right??? it's right there! x.x
gazzdogs 5
Damn, I didn't even read the FML properly. I always skip words :(
silentbutfunny 0
But whether you read it correctly or not, your right. It doesn't matter now
obsydian_fml 3
Now thats germaphobia to the extent of needing professional help.
audiophileMom 11
At least your place is clean now :) you probably wouldn't want him anyways if he's that "difficult".
KeannaLove 32
Next time you probably shouldn't go out with someone that high maintenance. They always can find something wrong. Way more better fish out in the sea OP. :)
BrianAlarcon 0
Happy New Year!(:
bobthebuilder33 3
His loss OP, I bet you're a nice person :)
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Luckily you didn't fart. He may have needed an ambulance.
Justin23L 2
What happens when he sneezes? Or farts?
naddification 7
I think that bloke will remain single his whole life.