Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Gross!
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Faulty plumbing
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Behave yourselves
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Bad start to the day
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
#blessed
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML
Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Did you say thank you? Don't be rude now.
amatayo 0
how did he have your cell phone number? making up stories to get on fml is lame.
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Comments (186)
amatayo 0
how did he have your cell phone number? making up stories to get on fml is lame.
Reyo 2
Neighbor: Hey, my phone's busted, can I use your phone? You: Sure. Neighbor: *calls own cell phone with your cell phone* "He's not picking up. Thanks anyway." You: No problem. Neighbor: *saves your number in his phone.*
nikkers 0
Doesn't explain how she knew it was him texting.. unless they exchanged numbers....
soulsfirefly 8
Yeah, I wish people would stop with the formula of "I was doing this thing naked, thinking I was in private and then this creepy guy gave away his stalkerish behaviour by doing something improbable which made it totally obvious he was watching! EWWW."
Reyo 2
Good point Nikkers. Very good point. At least then it shows that there was an extange, and not one of those "yo I need your number" "K here, what's yours?" "kthxbi" "wait nuuuu---" scenarios that everyone is assuming happened.
White667 0
A. Nabours usually exchange land line phone numbers, I can understand that. but mobiles? (or "cells") B. Why would a creepy old man ever give away that he can see you naked? That just makes no sense. C. Use some ******' curtains.
CharleneW 0
It doesn't necessarily mean he can see her naked. Our old house had a small frosted window in the shower that was high enough so that even if you were really tall, only your head would be visible and only if it was open. We usually had ours open on warm days and if our neighbours were outside, they usually could hear the water and we usually could hear them.
scillya 0
that happened to me before some guy i work wit asked me to use my fone and he called himself
Zer0_Zer0 0
My neighbor has mine in case of emergencies, lol.
acoti 0
But everyone does it.... OP, you should have said thank you, ya BITCH.
MoCo_fml 0
amen. but still, I'd be freaking. I have enough issues with windows as it is.
hanhanjr 0
I think it's an fml in itself how you can spell ****** but you can't spell neighbors.
Macromartyr 3
Really, it's not uncommon to know your neighbor...
jskibabe22 4
#1- ur lame
astarwarsfan 0
she should do him one better and text back thank you :)
Gorsbug823 0
hahahaha
drdingus 27
Gotta agree with that
MisterMuffinz 13
Perhaps OP was acquainted with the creep at one point, and was comfortable giving him her number at the time. Then the creep gradually became more and more obsessed with OP. These kinds of things, you need to think and make assumptions. You only have so many characters in an FML post, and not it's not much to fully explain the background of these situations.
WTFsGoingOn 0
Were you the same person who's creepy neighbor wanted to watch TV with them after seeing her watching a specific show through her bedroom window? Because that would just make this so much better. I'd move. Seriously. Or at least buy some curtains and keep the ones that point towards his home closed at all times. FYL, you shouldn't have to put up with weird perverts.
Blue_Coconuts 7
That's not so bad, your walls are just thin. Your shower curtain is a little dirty though, you can't see through as clearly.
LaurieEwen 0
Sounds like it's time to pump up the volume on the stereo and crank up the bass. Then he won't hear you.
lmao_at_ur_life 8
he was watching him u dip
Mikeymikey 4
lol, that's actually funny... you could scream "i need salt" and you'd get home delivery in 30 secs... no one can beat that.
Twiztidbunny 0
lmfao!
daisyjess 9
LOL!!!!
softball019 0
way to be an optimist :)
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Did you say thank you? Don't be rude now.
lainzilla 14
ydi for giving your number to people who creep you out.
XxRose_SparksxX 7
He's a stalker. He probably did his research.
waterynuggets 0
LMAO. Why do they have your number? And is it an old guy named Herbert? -wink-
alyssadapsycho 7
Volcomrox2266 0
how did he have your cell #??
EvieAngel 0
Who cares how he had her cell number. It doesn't mean it was a lie! You people are pathetic sometimes. Trying to disect ever FML to figure out which ones are real and fake. They are FML's because they don't seem like they would really happen, they don't happen often and so you say they are not real. You have no proof that they aren't. She might have given her neighbor her number for emergencies or just to be friendly. Creepy could have come after she got that text. Creepy doesn't mean they aren't friendly. Stop putting people down and asking all these stupid questions! Who cares. He had it for a reason, the reason it's irrelevant. So what if this is fake? It's still funny and possible. It may be fake for them but it must be real for someone somewhere. Stop runing FML's with your stupid comments please and thankyou (:
bribleh 0
Get a life.
Soloblackdude 0
Reminds me of family guy and Chris' Stalker.
monkeygrrlee 0
That's Herbert and same here!