Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year-old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML
Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Starfire22 5
Mostmen are man-children at heart, it never changes. Accept it and it will make life alot easier.
Sixpakastan 0
Gonna need to see said boobs before I can pass judgement.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (353)
scateice 0
Seriously......MyFriendYouFail what is your problem? This isn't a bitchatorium
DameGreyWulf 1
Yes it is. It's FMyLife. It was MADE for bitching!
scateice 0
That's the posts though, not the comments! ._.
Clitastrophe 0
Hey, stop bitching, hypocrite. You're the shit to our party.
myfriend_youfail 3
My problem is moronic kids. I both love and hate moronic kids. Love 'em because they give me a good laugh at their expense, and hate 'em simply because their idiocy is an affront to the collective intelligence of the human race. When I encounter such creatures on the Internet, I decide to have a bit of fun with them. I see a 14-year-old bragging about having her **** grabbed so often during intercourse that they go numb, and I just have to be an ass.
morgan020 0
hahahaha my husband does that but it usually stops when I start squeezing his nipples and say beep beep lol. that gets him to stop pretty quick.
DBkkk 0
I would do that sry.
Person1233 13
The flame war is fun to watch. Bubbly, go ahead and have sex, dont be complaining when you get an STD or get pregnant, to ANYONE. You're asking for it. To everyone else: people on the internet arent going to convince her. I remember how closeminded I was at that age. Adults talking to her IRL, might work. The internet, never will.
DameGreyWulf 1
Actually, they might. I mean, perhaps not HER, but little teenies like her have changed before when enough people on the Internet growled at her. I think it's the fact that the Internet is open to a wider base of people, thus a wider base of opinions and backgrounds, that make their unified growling at a certain behaviour more convincing. It's basically like the whole world thinks she's a slag, rather than a few people she knows IRL.
HarrietPotter 1
It's South Carolina...it's to be expected :P (Resident of Charleston)
Elksy 0
My boyfriend does that. Then I grab his ass and go, "Beep, beep!" :D
startafire 0
Then... don't?
GriefBacon 0
That's about every man in the world, though.
ericalew_xo 0
People like Brooke make all teenage girls look bad. As a teenage girl, I want to say I'm one of the few to not act on my raging hormones. You may say you're ready, girls, but I can guarantee you, when you're older, you will regret not keeping your legs shut. By older, I don't mean a couple years later. I mean when you're finally mature enough to handle certain adult situations. That is all I have to say.
notabot 0
I don't blame the man. I do the same thing.