Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
No idea why you refer it as dating, you're only the babysitter right?
ohsnapword 21
I do the same exact stuff to my fiancee. I find that acting like a child with my SO helps ease the anger and allows us to have a more productive conversation.
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Comments (16)
ohsnapword 21
I do the same exact stuff to my fiancee. I find that acting like a child with my SO helps ease the anger and allows us to have a more productive conversation.
Lobby_Bee 18
No idea why you refer it as dating, you're only the babysitter right?
Ray_of_midnight 23
Tell him "Thettle down, Beavith."
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean EX-boyfriend. WTF is a "fart knocker?" Farts are gaseous and you can only really knock solids.
Little Richard 11
You sound boring
RichardPencil 32
Evidently, I'm interesting enough for you to steal my logo outright and make your username a play off of mine.
SaltyAsFuck 3
True love...
Mfisher394 16
Could be worse. Monkeys throw poop at each other...sooo...at least that's not an issue you're having in the relationship. Ha. But, no, that's a little much for adults to be doing, lol.
sparklevibes 14
Deal breaker.
katluvr 22
It's a sign from your higher power. Run, do not walk, away from this "boyfriend. "
GIJoefan 6
Someone is clearly taking their cues from Beavis and Butthead.
worldclassrager 41
Are you sure he isn't?