Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year-old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML
Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
Mostmen are man-children at heart, it never changes. Accept it and it will make life alot easier.
Sixpakastan 0
Gonna need to see said boobs before I can pass judgement.
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Comments (353)
blastvortex 4
And I would expect no less complaint from a 5-year-old-minded woman who whines about someone she chose to get involved with. Now, you can start acting your own age or, as you're already doing, keep looking for others to moan about your problems to instead of just taking care of them.
Starfire22 5
Now let's count how many kids 14 and younger are going to brag about how old they were when they had sex, yays!! (sarcasm) seriously they need to start requiring these ppl to have one of those fake baby dolls that are programed to act like a newborn infant so you understand the consequences... Or parents that care
myfriend_youfail 3
Hahaha, your words are truer than you know. The high school I attended now requires a parenting or other "household skills" type class in order to graduate. Word around town is that they will make Parenting (also known in our school as Brat Class) completely mandatory within the next few years. Thank God. The children of Chardon, Ohio, will know what it's like to be parents before they leave high school. Every. Last. One of them.
DameGreyWulf 1
I already know what it's like, in a way. Taking care of dying, newborn kittens ft...l. :c I couldn't go to school I was so tired. Every other thirty minutes, MEW MEW MEW! I couldn't hardly go anywhere, either. Always washing, feeding, stimulating pooping/peeing, keeping warm, keeping comfortable, and trying to figure out WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOW.
boatkicker 5
I've had babies and kittens in my care. My opinion, a single infant is a lot easier than a bunch of kittens. Of course all that changes if we're talking about twins or bigger multiple births.
hjjl 0
I just want to say to the people saying it's illegal and how are they getting condoms and stuff, that in Canada there are no age restrictions on purchases of that type and high school nurses will give out condoms. Underage sex is not encouraged but I guess they figure people are going to do it anyway so they might as well try their best to make sure that it will be safe. I'm sure it's the same in other countries too.
myfriend_youfail 3
Pretty much anywhere but the USA. We're backwards like that, and in a lot of places, people now require ID for any restricted purchases, purchases made after a certain hour of the day, or purchases over a certain amount of money. Hell, some stores automatically demand ID if you're using a charge card, customer discount card, or a gift card. Ahhhh store security. A constant pain in my ass ever since people started getting uuber-paranoid about identity theft and petty theft of merchandise.
DameGreyWulf 1
I know the condoms around here are behind the counter in the gas stations and require ID, meanwhile the pharmacy doesn't even sell them. [shrugs]
expen_dable 0
I'm from the USA, have lived in 3 different states and have never been asked for ID when buying condoms, and no one I know has been asked that either. The first time I bought them was at 16 but I looked pretty young then.
DameGreyWulf 1
My comment didn't show up. I am sad! Anyway, I said that *I* do this sometimes, and they're MY boobs! OP, you need to learn to laugh at life. Trust me, you'll be a lot happier. Besides, this is rather cute of him.
thighsofglory 0
Bubbles is lying.
pitbulllove 0
Oh come on. Where is your sence of humor? He is trying to have fun with you. Mine grabs mine and says "squishie!". I just laugh and playfully act like I'm swatting his hands away. no big deal. Try relaxing and realizing that sex and intimacy are supposed to be fun.
DecayDance_fml 0
Actually, I'm 13, and the guys i've been out with are more mature than that - even though they don't touch my boobs. ^o) - so i'd say more around 10-12.
spazz666 18
LOL I was laughing when I read the comment "no the cool girls get the seniors..." cuz I'm dating a senior and I'm pretty much as far as 'cool' as possible.
DameGreyWulf 1
The cool girls No The cool people in general don't just sleeze around and actually have independent thought. Not saying you do and don't, I'm just pointing that out.
spazz666 18
And don't rip on me cuz I'm dating a senior, you don't know me and u don't know him. Please and thank you. =]
Starfire22 5
First, the whole "cool girls" thing was sarcasm. Second how about reading and comprehending what damegreywulf was saying, she wasn't talking about you in general or your boyfriend... Honestly reading comprehension people!
toomanymorons 0
How about taking your own advice MORON. The fact that spazz666 started her second message "AND don't rip on me..." and the fact that it was posted 7 min before DameGreyWulf's reply makes it pretty obvious that it was just a continuation of her first post.... Honestly reading comprehension people!
Avenging_Angel 0
( . Y . ) *honk honk*