Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he wasn't on Facebook for the last two days. It turned out his father found out we were talking, and banned him from logging on. He's 19. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML
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Top comments
nick347b 6
Tell him to touch your boobs or you'll tell his parents.
baconstrips 12
Boyfriend: hehehe boobies! :D Girlfriend: wanna touch them? Boyfriend: NO WAY! My parents will kill me!
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Comments (202)
mofran 0
and how old is he?...
rein 8
"20 year old boyfriend"
mofran 0
sorry it's late. didn't really comprehend lol.
fabian21 0
His parents could be fortune tellers or psychics... or Jedis..
aimeesea75 16
Can't tell if trolling.. Or just very stupid..
StoryOfTheYear 15
7- How do you not "comprehend" the number 20 next to the words "year old"? They're even hyphenated for christ's sake...
enonymous 9
I'm going to defend #7 using my awesome legal skills... How do we really know this guy is 20? Have you seen the movie Big? Or Jack? For all we know this guy is 6..went to the state fair Zoltan granted his wish and now he looks like a 20 year old... Lawyer'd
TinyDude 10
Enonymous wins cos hes awesomr just like that ;)
girl112891 7
Definitely Jedis!
awagh666 14
Nope. Not jedis. Cos if they were jedis, OP's boyfriend would have grabbed her boobs and made those laser sounds.... PEW PEW PEW
Evan2297 0
Learn to spell.
iEatWookies 1
Jedi is the plural of Jedi... not Jedis. Nerd moment over.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Hahaha I was reading Jedis like "GEE-DUS" or "GEE-DIS" I was like is this the new Jesus ?
Alwayspullout 7
I think meant OP meant to say "our" parents...
TaylorMcGown 2
Can you not read?
ImFrackinBored 13
*facepalm*
piwikiwi93 0
R u stupid! It says in the FML!
willou35_fml 13
haha
samiwammy 5
Wth?
Drummerboy1234 0
can someone say sheltered?
Jovecove 13
Op should totally call me :)
hemz_fml 13
I would have when I was 12 lol
felipe87 2
Maybe he is gay
zinoxity 23
So you want him to touch them, eh? ;) But how on earth would his parents find out?
dre_bro11 12
BF's mum: Son, Where have you been? BF: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch them!!! ...
RussianFox 13
Maybe OP's boyfriend's parents have been overprotective with him all his life so now he assumes if he does anything bad they will always find out.
MizzErikaHart 8
I imagine op acting life Kiff from futurama.
luvppl 6
Its because he just found out that they are Santa... He knows when you are sleeping, he knows if you're awake. He knows if you've been touching boobs so don't for goodness sake! :P
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
start having sex with him he'll forget all about his parents...
thantomaniac 0
Or not...
pulse18 2
Awk...
OFFICERxNASTYxx 0
If she can't get him to touch her boobs, what makes you think that he'll just jump right into having sex...
hurley2010 0
Lol! Shit I would too! Haha
fictionismylife 5
Hopefully...
StoryOfTheYear 15
The 40-year virgin might be given a run for his money on this one.
zinoxity 23
Not quite. He does have a girlfriend, doesn't he?
samiwammy 5
^^ not at all
StoryOfTheYear 15
8- Not for long at the rate he's taking to get intimate. 9- If you were asking that as a true question directed towards me, my answer is no, there is not a problem with being a virgin. If you're asking that a response to my statement, I never bad-mouthed virgins in general with my comment, just the (likely) virgin OP is dating.
nick347b 6
Tell him to touch your boobs or you'll tell his parents.
braddah112233 1
I like the way u think! Haha
kidwiththeface42 7
Sounds "tit"-tillating! Awful pun attack!
baconstrips 12
Boyfriend: hehehe boobies! :D Girlfriend: wanna touch them? Boyfriend: NO WAY! My parents will kill me!
awagh666 14
.....and then, Girlfriend: if you dont, i will kill you Boyfriend: i want my mommeeeee..... Girlfriend: sigh....*takes vibrator out of purse*
BadKitty13 28
And then says we asre OVER and walks out when she's done .......
Gtfo_Troll 0
62 - No just no. Nice job killing the joke.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Well might as well keep the boobs to yourself, hun.
nickbucci1252 0
No she should definatley pull them out until he sees how nice they are and then he will touch them
Feklfekl2222 32
That's just depressing but it could be worse you could have the boyfriend that goes "honk honk!" every time he touches them
theten_fml 9
Maybe he believes that will happen when he touches them. His parents will be like "where on earth is that honking coming from?! Our little Timmy must be touching some boobs!"
Smartpants 0
Rofl!!!
lwlwade18 0
Everybody loves the "honk honk" guy :D
yodas0da 12
are you sure he's a man