Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

Funnymann 22 January 2010, 20:51 United States

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

228 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 20 October 2016, 13:17 Maidstone, United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

18 comments

Amy 10 May 2012, 19:14 Prince George, Canada

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

98 comments

Anonymous 10 July 2019, 16:00

Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML

3 comments

argh 20 March 2012, 08:16 Houston, United States

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

58 comments

permanently scarred 25 August 2018, 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

42 comments

Girl-of-very-little-brain 29 December 2011, 12:01 Canada

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

84 comments

Anonymous 13 May 2009, 20:15 Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

187 comments

Bonk 4 February 2024, 15:00 United States

Self report

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

4 comments

HomeAlone 24 April 2016, 04:45 United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

39 comments

Hayleey_079 18 February 2010, 14:22 United Kingdom

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

138 comments

luvuall 0

22 January 2010, 23:15

It was Jigglypuff

susieKiute 0

22 January 2010, 23:09

paranormal activity?

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Comments (228)

escapenowx 0

22 January 2010, 23:07

wow, lol I'd put cameras around my housee

anonymous45610 0

22 January 2010, 23:10

holy crap :o !

PattisonDaStud 0

22 January 2010, 23:32

wat r camreas

thecitylights 0

22 January 2010, 23:40

um what?

JoshTheMaggot 8

23 January 2010, 01:20

idk WTF are camreas being since he said cameras so if you were trying to case on someone you fail sir. and as for the OP fyl you need a neighborhood watch and definitely some cameras