Today, my mother decided to cook dinner for us and used rice that she had in her cupboard. While helping out, I stirred the dish and noticed black flecks. Turns out they were rice weevils. She tried to convince me it was "burnt garlic" and served it to the rest of the family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML
Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML
Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML
Today, I cooked for the future in-laws and was accused of trying to poison them. Absolutely no one told me, even as they watched me cook shrimp and smoked sausage gumbo, that my mother-in-law is deathly allergic to shellfish and my father-in-law gets severe diarrhoea when he eats pork. FML
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Top comments
AmbrosiaFan 19
So I'm reading this hoping you told the family about it before they ate it.
RichardPencil 32
I don't know why people who eat shrimp have a problem eating insects. Boiled rice weevils are likely sterile.
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Comments (5)
Pimental2016 6
my grandmother in law has them all over the rices. she says it's just extra protein, I dont feed my kids the rice when she makes them.
RichardPencil 32
I don't know why people who eat shrimp have a problem eating insects. Boiled rice weevils are likely sterile.
Silverion Sairee 14
i googled some info on rice weevils and found this "Weevils, whether in larval or adult stage, are not harmful to humans or animals. Although it may seem unsavory to you, they can be eaten along with any food they have infested without causing any ill effects." and like you're right, after they've been boiled they are likely sterile. also i agree with you on shrimp, i call them 'sea bugs'. i don't like shrimp tho and wouldn't eat rice weevils.
AmbrosiaFan 19
So I'm reading this hoping you told the family about it before they ate it.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I literally just had to Google what the hell a rice weevil is. I am now glad that I don't eat rice anyway since I can't stand the stuff... The fact that someone intentionally serves it to someone like that is disgusting. Ugh.