Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Keep on going!
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
Good question
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Communication breakdown
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Anticlimactic
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Actor's Studio
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML
Top comments
mudd 0
give him some instructions!
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
hardly an fml sorry. you have a great boyfriend, sex is only a by product of a relationship. it shouldn't be that important. plus it can be fixed, try new positions, toys, there are plenty of solutions.
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Comments (289)
mudd 0
give him some instructions!
chyeahbro 0
try getting him to wear sex panther. 30 percent of the time it works, everytime! ;)
ffmmllyaya 0
it really comes down to technique not size. he might only got two inches but I'm guessing he also got finger and tongue. either talk to him or atop bytching
SLKBlack96 5
stop whining
robhammer 0
Its ok I'm sure he enjoyed it (:
lmfao1643 3
Then he is not amazing at all!
zZPedobearZz 0
lol @ 46 Anchorman reference strap on ***** time?
rhythmbandit 0
to the person who said stop whining: what if it was the guy who couldn't climax with the girl?should he quit whining to? no, didn't think so.
myman47 0
does he have a dick ? and u guys might just do anal. remmember,.." be againast anal and u don't get torn another a-hole " ;)
CRUZs_GURL1 0
www.askmen.com/..64_love_tip.html i found this site trying to explain where women pee threw lol its a very intresting site told me some things that were amazing lol stop bitching tell him what you like if he cares then he should want you to reach the peek of climax.
babybubz 0
actually #46... it's - 60% of the time.. it works everytime.
skullbashd 3
most chicks do organs cu the clutter us not stimulated
WonderCut 0
small penis lol
warriorsoul 2
I'm sure he gives it the good old college try!
ipts 0
#90 yeah, if it was a guy he should stob bein a b*tch about it too. she should just be thankful for what she has. sex quality isnt a thing u sacrifice a relationship for
Inabsentia 0
You have two choices: 1. give him some instructions. 2. Don't be lazy! do it yourself!
Onthecountof3 0
it has bits of real panther
baby_val 0
agreed y'all don't NEED sex to have A strong relationship botch
gorillaz_fml 0
maybe he has a small penis
jolipetitamour 0
it's 60% of the time- not 30. and this is not really an FML. Be thankful he's a good guy. You can teach such things...
sublimaze 6
obviously he's not that amazing
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed with #1. Is the sex good though? Cos climaxing isn't everything (although it is awesome). Half the fun of a relationship is figuring out together how to have great sex. Experiment on your own and don't expect him to do all the work. Don't throw out an amazing bf over one fixable flaw. BTW, #111, what are you saying?
skullbashd 3
sorry I didn't see the auto correct but most girls don't climax because there clittoris is not stimulated enough during sex
sexxyajayy 0
at least you have a boyfriend (im noy saying i dnt have one) but quit complaining...
fringle 0
who cares! it's not like only sex matters!! if you're going to break up with your soulmate over something as overrated as sex then SHAME ON YOU.
bastiendu13 0
I know how you feel except it's only been 7 months. but that doesn't mean he is bad in bed. cuz he is good just not good enough to make me finish =(
bastiendu13 0
oh and trust me just because he can't make you finish doesn't mean he's small my boyfriend is pretty big and I still havnt finished
foreveracowgirl 0
that's right how is he supposed to know if u don't tell him?
Hunts160 5
ur an Fing ****. omg try to marry him!
Hunts160 5
I agree with #121.
malafacaeous 0
I agree with you 90 and I went from my last girlfriend who was into alot of shit and we had an awesome sex life but she it didn't work out. To a **** buddy who is about the dullest lover I have ever had and I only sleep with her because she doesn't want a commitment. Wich I don't either right now since I am having to pay for my college outta my own pocket and can't afford one. But enough rambling it is equally frustrating for men and women who their lover can't make them orgasim.
manny1283 0
haha I remember this quote... movie is hilarious lol
cartesianlogic 0
get a clue and take responsibility for your own ******. this idea that orgasms have to be given is bs, reach your hand down and play with your clit or something while having sex instead of just blaiming him because it sounds like you're no better at having sex than he is.
brianred5 0
I don't get what 46 meant at it works 30% of the time everytime
ohSNAPyall 27
@94: Uh, no. No, it is not. I don't care how mentally frustrated you are; your **** buddy has it worse. At least you get to cum to relieve this. Clearly she is not getting the same from you. @OP: Tell him to spend more time on foreplay before sex. Better yet, have him make you ****** before you have sex / before you play with him. He can be patient; he'll get his soon enough.
time4coffee 3
Teach him what you want. It works, don't give up a good thing just because he needs some instruction.
DiPsTiCk4462 0
alright for one thing orgasms are nou everything in a relationship and her life doesn't suck because her bf can't "get her off"
papichulo1411 0
your gorgeous
Riccoshea 0
retard.
haroguy1989 0
completely agree
lovedarknessbby 0
Dude! XD look up the song "Not Fair" by Lily Allen. you'll love it.
klynhunter 0
I have this problem, too. I don't see why everyone is griping at you. I'm completely in love with my BF, and I don't want anyone else. It would just be nice to know how an ****** feels. I bet most of these people are guys that ********** frequently, and thus take it for granted. I wish it was as hard for men to come as it is for women!
milf20 0
60% lol
fuzzywazzy012 0
9, your pretty hot.
solarrunner 16
You are a dirt :) sex isn't the most important thing evar!
swimmer3141 10
It was supposed to be 60% of the time, and it's a joke based off of a t-shirt that says "sex panther-60% of the time it works every time"
FML102938 8
Actually only about a quarter of girls can ******
FML102938 8
Actually only about a quarter of girls can ******
FML102938 8
Actually only about a quarter of girls can ******
FML102938 8
Actually only about a quarter of girls can ******
1800getalife 0
two and a half inches?
suicide_jockey 0
people say two and a half inches, they're wrong. my girlfriend feels all of it
1800getalife 0
lol.. 2 inches =. a slight poke 10 inches = alot of screaming
MQ_was_here 0
Okay, length isn't everything. The ratio has two dimensions: LxW. W is just as important. If not slightly more.
oOohxlala_ 0
then again, maybe she could be faking it.
MQ_was_here 0
I think that was sarcasm on his end. -_-
zZPedobearZz 0
at 33 its L x W x D yeesh, learn your grade six math formulas... they help me in child rape ;) (/pedobear)
andruha1123 5
I'm only 3 inches, but some girls like it that thick.
NotErin 0
haha 87
zZPedobearZz 0
why does everyone think he has a two and a half inch penis? she said theyd been together for 2.5 years
MQ_was_here 0
At #87: I wasn't getting technical and nor was I looking for the volume formula. I was just trying to say that length isn't all girls care about but also it's width. If you still don't get what I'm trying to then long story short: I wasn't talking about the math formula when I refered to LxW
NashwB 0
accually it's L x circumference it's a cylinder. jeeze learn your grade 7 polygons.
keeper35 0
A poygon is any closed shape with STRAIGHT sides. Learn your fourth grade geometry.
nebula748 14
volume matters! and it would be pi x radius squared x length, that is unless you have a boxy penis XD
GeneralCha 3
ok.... who the **** cares about all this math shit?!?! Are you really going to go and find the perimeter/area/volume of a penis!?!
mitch707 0
Hell yes we are
Secret_Fire_King 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA.. The replies to #2 made my day.. :)
MQ_was_here 0
You guys are idiots, whoTF was talking about math any way? I should have just said width is equally as important and moved on. -_-
ohSNAPyall 27
It's a cylinder plus a sphere.
riax 9
How?!? Whats ur secret?? How do u use it?? Lol
Stevestud 2
Tell him to use his mouth.
icifresh911 0
Lol! ^^^^
FoxhoundEP3 0
disagree, if u really know what ur doing you would use your tonge and lips as well, you can lick AND suck the clit, so yes... ur mouth. unless u have never had that done ladies... u should ask for it
Emmajanex 0
poor thing!
givants 0
well I guess he's not so great according to your standards
weezypanda420 22
Teach him how to please you.. As you're getting into it tell him how you want it but in a sexy voice you know? So he doesn't feel offended or not good enough..
noobgang7 5
maybe it's you
MQ_was_here 0
I second that. I mean, most girls cannot ****** by penetration alone and need some stimulation. I usually don't say this but damn OP, YDI. Either you're a complete no0b when it comes to this stuff or just an airhead. Seriously if you had mentioned it nicely to him or even had tried to help yourself (pun intended) by doing some research, you'd be in a much better place. Girls should teach their preferences to their men given that the dude isn't totally lost too. Seriously.
kniickles 0
I'm one of those. If he's just poking you your not goi g to peak unless you get more stimulation.
kaijapapaya 0
I agree with you that it's not abnormal for a woman to have trouble getting an ******. But I bet within the two and a half years they've been together, they have tried other methods. It's possible that she could have a sexual dysfunction. Perhaps female orgasmic disorder??
babybubz 0
get a vibrator...
silverskin 1
Hopefully, she already has one. Two and a half years of pent up sexual frustration would be a major suckfest especially if she gets turned on every time they get him off.
Eddie_Paints 0
I can help you with that,No Problem!
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
hardly an fml sorry. you have a great boyfriend, sex is only a by product of a relationship. it shouldn't be that important. plus it can be fixed, try new positions, toys, there are plenty of solutions.
Monikabug 9
^ I agree, not to mention that some girls are physically unable to have an ******. Maybe it is not the boyfriend's fault at all.
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
exactly. my ex was difficult to make ******, we just had to try new things and see what worked. I succeeded :D
tyheron 0
Or maybe not since you are now her ex.
ButtNekked 0
Or maybe not because your her ex.
o0XMzMayX0o 0
wow #9 great answer coming for a guy( o offence sorry!) OP - and u still haven't research this? it might b you not ur bf. You probaly make him believe he is doing fine so he isn't worried about that. YDI for worrin about sex so much it has Fu*ked ur life?!?!
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
74 and 83 we didn't break up because I couldn't make her ******...I pity you for not being born with a normal amount of brain cells. and thank you 88 no offense taken.
mtc4ever 0
I can't ****** and I've found that out after a long time and trying EVERYTHING. but sex has so many other amazing feelings, the o is just one more. also I love my bf more than anything, and he knows I can't o but he still tries, and sex isn't the basis of a relationship! I hate when people think it is! I think it's terrible the op is posting this. her poor bf.
ohSNAPyall 27
@9: Sex is pretty important. How would you like to be unable to come? Physical intimacy goes with emotional and mental intimacy. But I agree -- try new things! Be vocal! Use your hands! Don't be embarrassed -- he'll probably be turned on to see you like this, and he'll definitely be turned on when he sees how much more pleasure you get.
CallMeHush 1
What is amazing is you haven't taught him how. Bring on the pony and the midget.
scarsnstars45 0
hahaha, right on!!