Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
Tell him to stop asking questions then
alexup24 13
curiosity killed the cat, and the ******...
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Comments (162)
mpj13 8
Tell him to stop asking questions then
GoodLookingGeese 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Too hard..
syck_fml 3
Tell him yes so he will shut up
GoodLookingGeese 10
The OP wants whining on FML instead of resolving the problem
andrewl12 0
It's not hard. Say, "I don't need to hear you ask me if im about to come, " then he well stop, case solved :D
SluggerJ 7
Sometimes us guy need to be told to shut up & keep going ( but what for guys that don't have clue )
aaahhhfire21 0
Just do wat my gf used to do if I stopped tighten ur thighs around the side his head and put ur hands on the back to make sure his head don't move away til he's done his job
babe7260 30
Lol well said
danni218 1
Hold his head down...and when u feel he's about to come up say "don't stop that perfect"
blushy 14
just tell him what he's doing wrong, problem solved
imcutefml 0
How hard is it for you to say "im a bout to cum/******"? My gf says it everytime shes going to so i dont need to stop and ask
Drigr 9
Or just grab his hair and hold his head in place.
cajekraze 7
shove his head back down and tell him, " Shut up, you'll know when
rogerover 19
AND to pay attention to your verbal and physical cues.
alexup24 13
curiosity killed the cat, and the ******...
gamercanadian 11
That's kinda like her asking him; is it in yet, while they at it.
Guren 0
53 - What...? How do you even relate those.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Why don't you just trap his head with your hands or legs to keep his head there? Stops him from leaving and allows you to arrive.
spazz666 18
73) Your last sentence made me smile because it's a bit more cleverly stated then most of the comments on this FML. (x
ladyLALAA 29
Well played 73, but just have to tell your I felt a bit threatened by your about me, and I'm Australian.. Ass!
Swedude 5
Maybe tell him what he's doing wrong instead of writing about it on the internet?
simplynatalie 6
#3 if everyone did that there would be no reason for FML
yahoowizard 16
Could do both, and then everyone wins
reyndrop 0
Indeed..
mufc4everch 2
I love the pi pic.
noshatsherlockk 15
Better yet, just facebook him a link directly to the FML, because god forbid you'd have to communicate with him!
alejandratx 8
O fail.
ladyLALAA 29
I really hate to say this, but I see what you did there 5. You so don't deserve the hymns down!
ladyLALAA 29
*thumbs
wtfohgodfml 0
You don't say?
Yellow_Fish79 11
Next time everytime he's about to come you should ask him if he wants to get married and have children.
BlvckScvle 2
That's just evil... but seems fair
sskarma23 9
Most guys would just finish the job themselves.. You know we can get a little impatient
Guren 0
Askin all them questions...
OneLittleAdditio 9
he wants to make sure he's doing a good job. just tell him (when ur not doing it) that he's great but that he needs to stop asking questions because he's getting you there without the talking ;)
annacd 6
-- KICK IN FACE. -- What a berk, and a shame. Close to the station and no arrival is worse than not being close. I sorry for you.
JiggaJayZ 16
Can't tell if trolling or foreign
ProhibitionRose 14
Berk? Rofl
omarzrgz 3
Dafuq did she just say? O.o
br0dawg 6
it took me a while to figure out your comment. just...all of it.
KriiFahMoro 9
Yeah, he sounds like a real berk. I sorry for her too...
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Uh... What?
maemaeloveeeee 0
?!?!?!
Brannie 4
"BITCH did I tell you to stop?!"
BrysGirl27 14
Hahahahahah:D "get back to work!"
coffee_man900 16
"Hold your tongue boy." Oh no, that wouldn't work. Sorry. :p
candice22_fml 4
"Just shut up and lick!"
hellaflushfa5 6
Most important part of a relationship is communication.
babe7260 30
Very true statement
lil_ham1644 29
That's what he's trying to do! He's making sure she's enjoying it. Albeit, ruining the enjoyment in the process
xIBleedPurplex16 0
What a retard.
alexup24 13
what a jerk
OneLittleAdditio 9
that's so offensive :(
alstbv12 13
I can see by your picture that you must too.
alstbv12 13
*be
SkoomaKi 28
13 -...take..that..profile..picture......down...now...
ladyLALAA 29
65....put.....a...profile....picture....up!
spazz666 18
Guys, be gently with him. He's a Belieber! Does that explain why he's so ignorant?
KeyboardWarrior 10
She*
sillycart 9
42- thank you for saying this so I didn't have to!