Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
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Top comments
meanie_monday 0
Dump the guy, date the bike. Problem solved ;)
anger18 0
it seems that's his FML rather than yours lol
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Comments (164)
anger18 0
it seems that's his FML rather than yours lol
DizzyDemon0 9
#4...agreed with the first half of your post 100% Girls who know what they want..are MUCH easier to satisfy then girls who have no idea. Explore and know your own bodies. Men and women. If you know you like something a certain way..ask for it that way. If you don't like certain things...say so. Not difficult.
lmmmr 0
That is true for the most part, however, is easier sad than done. Have you ever tried to tickle yourself? It doesn't work. An external force is required for some physical reactions. Things you do to yourself are not necessarily going to feel the same when performed by someone else, and vice versa.
shadow_foot 0
"Today, I was giving my girlfriend a ride on my street bike when she started to ******. I've been with her for three years and we have been sexually active quite frequently, and yet I've still never made her ******. FML."
Kyothine 0
#60, SHUT THE **** UP
OMGoriginality 0
out of curiousity why are you replying to #4's post on #1?
Finnboghi 0
#40, he means explore yourself through others. It's absolutely essential to do so if you ever want a meaningful relationship. OP, I may be able to help you out a little; Try an exercise called Touch Sex. Get naked, comfortable, and ideally blindfolded (being that vision takes up so much brain power, if you can't see, all your other senses share a part of the computation and become more acute), and have your boyfriend touch you in various ways. Different intensities, different body parts (for both; get him to use his elbows, it can have a huge effect), all over your body. Using objects like feathers or vibrators can help as well. As he does so, pay attention to how your body reacts, and note what feels good and what doesn't. If any places get you instantly aroused, tell him. These are your erogenous zones, and will, at the very least, get you closer to an ******, if not give you the most powerful of your life. Also, reversing the roles can help too; explore his body to find out what feels good for him. If you know how to get him going, it may just raise your arousal levels as well. And finally, explore everything; even the most unexpected spots can produce incredible results. In particular, the neck, nipples, thighs, lower legs, and anus are excellent places to try, as the nerves there are extremely sensitive, rarely experience touch, and generally have thinner skin, meaning the nerves are closer to the surface.
genius_man16 1
#97 wants to be Dr. Phil when he grows up
Apolloholix13 0
LMAO 112
Morgannnnuhhh 1
I liked it...
juan3611 14
#112 comment of the year
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
Congratulations.
B4SK3TB4IL 0
maybe u guys can ride around naked
Muthalecka 1
Seriously OP. this boyfriend of yours tries so hard to please you, apparently for 3 years, and finally his bike does the job. Congratulations, **** his life
gms0113 8
you don't know how hard he's trying...
meanie_monday 0
Dump the guy, date the bike. Problem solved ;)
McA513M 0
LMAO!! Thanks #3 for making me laugh! :)
seb12992 0
#3 wins.
spiffles 0
hahaha indeed a win. Although if the bike performs so well after 10 minutes I'm a bit concerned about the skill of said boyfriend...
kynzilla 0
You are ******* comedy. High five.
haha_yoo 0
lmfao. you're great.
tech42er 0
#36 I'm just impressed by the skill of said bike :P
takemedown 0
I have no response to this. That's a first.
nypd613 0
wtf is wrong with you!!
lmmmr 0
I'd say not getting pleasure in your 3 year relationship is an FML. I feel just as bad for her.
cperagui 18
why's that something that's wrong with her? it's not her fault
tanners 0
fhl for not being able to pleasure you.
jrl585 0
lol apparenty the bike seat is bbigger than your boy freand lol
kitkatkelly 0
No.
tehredbaran 0
"apparenty" you're retarded.
LoveMachine1O1 0
I dont care what these people said about your comment. That cracked me up
sawabear15 0
Ew. That's disturbing.
VadimSmal 0
Your face is disturbing
Rainy_Dayz2012 0
Then don't read it
NightJack 0
Figure out what it was about the bike that got you off and try to make him replicate it. It's totally possible that he just can't find your clit.
mystomachurts 3
its the vibrations. some women cant climax without vibrations on their clit.
swooshq 0
Like the other FML about that girl who got an ****** sitting on her dad's motorcycle or something...cause of the vibrations
nomadxx7 0
yeah because us males can make our penises vibrate to get you women off. Ever hear of the washer machine? Vibrations (like a *****) can set a woman off. If I could make my penis vibrate I would probably make every women ******. Since no man has that ability maybe try to guide your boyfriend on how to work some angfles or get a *****
JustCallMeCloud 0
One day you'll learn how to make your penis vibrate. Its cool if you don't know how to as of now.
legend519 0
Don't they sell vibrating **** rings nowadays? I'm pretty sure I've seen one somewhere on the internet before
slaveowner190461 0
trojan vibrating ring
rebeccajoy 0
yeah I'm sure there is a durex one I got once... works well
AmaroqOkami 0
And people wonder why some guys try being gay. ( Not that it works most of the time, but still. )