Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ShitFaced
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
tequilashot
Porto Alegre, Brazil 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
pride? what's that? :(
Leuven, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
brokedick
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
the-yao
United States
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Top comments
doctorr_fml 9
Stay drunk and take a Viagra
daniel_dd31 13
I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.
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Comments (123)
tazmanmike2013 17
Have more sex, practice make ls perfect
TheBrochure 22
Above all, do your best to RELAX when you do it (so as to not associate performance stress with sex)! That will take practice, as well.
Michael903 18
If you're in your teens that's normal. If you're 40, you're screwed...
ocramavaf 15
I think it's the opposite you meant
VancouverGuy89 9
You just lack the mental drive while your drunk and while your sober
Swartsheep 2
Maybe you are premature when drunk too, you just don't know
Mimi12589_fml 10
Yeah well... Either way you're ****.. Or not.. Hehe
King_paradox 22
Can we get a doctor over here?, we have a patient in need of a doctor I'm tired of loosing everyone today.
RainyDaysSmokinH 3
What a 'hard' life...
legalizenow 16
Do Kegel exercises regularly, start some resistance training program, and cut down on the alcohol - as much as possible. Best of luck, man. No worries, it can be rectified within 3 - 4 weeks.
monnanon 14
isnt the Kegal a pelvic floor exersiser you know, for women?
Enslaved 38
There are Kegel exercises for men. #44 has good advise.
legalizenow 16
Kegel exercises work for men too. The stronger the pelvic floor muscles are, the better they trap blood in for the erection. They also help you get explosive orgasms! Stronger muscles = more contractions = better ******.
LadyDI411 6
Don't be an Alcoholic
xx000o 27
Congratulations, you join 38% of American males between the ages of 18 to 43.