Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ShitFaced
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
tequilashot
Porto Alegre, Brazil 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
pride? what's that? :(
Leuven, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
brokedick
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
the-yao
United States
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Top comments
doctorr_fml 9
Stay drunk and take a Viagra
daniel_dd31 13
I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.
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Comments (123)
SoultheWolf 19
Try using a **** ring. That helps with premature ejaculation.
angel80_fml 2
Most guys have some sort of dysfunction when drunk !! But THEY seem to think they're Superman !!!
slowninjarecon 5
There. Is. No. Space. Between. The end of a sentence and the punctuation. Period.
imchacon22 19
Viagra? But for real though go to the doctor maybe they can help. Good luck
OMG_ZOMBIES 15
I suggest edging. I'm not sure if it is still called that...that's what I call it. It's masturbating until just before ******, stopping, taking a break, getting back up, and starting again, as many times as you can before you can't take it. If you go like 3 or 4 times, the last one is amazing.
Thr33to16 8
Has no one here heard of "whiskey dick"? Kids these days...
Omniprism 15
There are lubes and stuff to keep you from ejaculating too soon. And maybe ejaculate with your hand before intercourse. You'll be less sensitive. That is if you can still get it up. Good luck.
ashleynjx 6
#whiskeydiiiick im pretty sure that's common
rundas09 8
Whiskey Dick?
DanielleinDC 34
Don't take any numbing thing to last longer--what's the point in that? There are methods men can use to deal with premature ejaculation (and I agree, get your partner off before intercourse). As for drinking--well, the fact that you can't get it up drunk means you just can't drink and hope to get laid. Sorry, dude. But hopefully it will save you from morning after regret.
militarybrat 21
Well the drunk part is completely normal. But i agree with other posters. There are in between the extremes you know? FYL anyways b/c it sucks.