Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ShitFaced
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
tequilashot
Porto Alegre, Brazil 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
pride? what's that? :(
Leuven, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
brokedick
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
the-yao
United States
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Top comments
doctorr_fml 9
Stay drunk and take a Viagra
daniel_dd31 13
I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.
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Comments (123)
xx000o 27
Congratulations, you join 38% of American males between the ages of 18 to 43.
xx000o 27
I just noticed that you are Canadian, you joined 78% of Canadian males between the ages of 16 to 75.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe some meds will help? You should get that checked out...
lil_mars 1
A lot of men cannot get an erection while drunk -- i.e., "whiskeydick." As for the premature ejaculation... Well, there are tips and tricks to avoid that (Google it). &There are pills for more severe cases. Anyway, sorry OP :/
worldclassrager 41
Maybe some meds will help? You should get that checked out...
Mayshod 3
This does not have to be a big problem. First, relax and be confident. Insecurity is unattractive. Next get really good at oral and using your hands. If you give a woman a FANTASTIC ****** with your hands or mouth AND THEN slide inside and cum quickly, Im sure she wont be disappointed. Just say you were really excited by her ****** and practice you stamina in the meantime. Even if a guy can't get hard AT ALL doesn't mean he can't get a woman (or man) off. Don't be affraid to use toys either. I use a vibrator on my wife. Whatever it takes to get her there.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe some meds will help? You should get that checked out...
jlmontgomery 11
My ex had both of those problems....while sober.
DEADANDDIVINE 7
doesn't matter had sex
Wakachulak 22
That's it, I'm killing this joke
Shandra78 9
There's a new lidocaine based spray for premature ejaculation, it's currently outselling Viagra. Clearly, you are not alone. And a couple hints, a sober guy with patience and good tongue technique is better than some twit who takes viagra, while drunk, then can't get it back down again. That's just tedious for her. Anything you 'learned' from watching **** is a complete waste of time, yours and hers.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
best of both worlds sorta drunl but sober enough to remember you should not drive! (i'm tipsy at the moment by the way)