Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ShitFaced
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
tequilashot
Porto Alegre, Brazil 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
pride? what's that? :(
Leuven, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
brokedick
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
the-yao
United States
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Top comments
doctorr_fml 9
Stay drunk and take a Viagra
daniel_dd31 13
I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.
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Comments (123)
jpest17 5
Find your happy medium?
TimeLord9811 4
I think that's with every man lol you'll be fine
7madbiker5 0
Quit trying to do it drunk. Take a few vicodin or percocet an hour before dropping your pants. Works great, especially with a new chick you're shocked said yes because she's out of your league.
owencgray 10
how are you when stoned?
bazookajoey 27
You sound like my ex!
Berber260 14
It's normal to not get a ferm erection while drunk.