Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ShitFaced
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
tequilashot
Porto Alegre, Brazil 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
pride? what's that? :(
Leuven, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
brokedick
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
the-yao
United States
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Top comments
doctorr_fml 9
Stay drunk and take a Viagra
daniel_dd31 13
I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.
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Comments (123)
rgriff27 19
It's a happy medium!
graceinsheepwear 34
Get up and get out!
Dodge4x4Ram 46
be like Neo & take the blue pill
Riku714 25
Meet halfway?
cosicosei 22
Time to get... Tipsy...? Seems the the logical medium there
boating_guy 33
boom. problem solved^
ihpp 22
Don't worry my hubby has that problem when drunk, too. your not alone.
\ 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The irony is killing me
SmokinGuns 13
Smoke weed instead
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Um yeah.. being a limpdick is his problem, not a solution to it, genius.
LaLince 40
Stay sober and just sync your breathing with the speed you're hitting. that helps lasting much longer.