sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML
ironic driver
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Takes one to know one
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
notdrivinganytimesoon
Richardson, United States
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
driverman12
United States
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
snoooore
Gloucester, United Kingdom
Today, I discovered I have narcolepsy. During a driving test. FML
NotDrunk
San Antonio, United States
Today, I was pulled over by a policeman. He thought I was drunk, after doing the "walk in a straight line" test and the "finger-to-nose" test. It wasn't until after I got a fine that I got it through to him that I have cerebellar ataxia, and that I wasn't drunk. FML
jojo
United States
Bladder control
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML
DWIcop
Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
San Francisco, United States
Unfair
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Top comments
MrBoredGuy 1
so get drunk and try again
Absocold 0
This is why I practice balance and saying the alphabet backwards.
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Comments (85)
smileyyx3_fml 0
that sucks:(
I_R_Genius 3
Oh god, I know who I'm not drinking with and/or getting drunk with. If you can't do it sober then you don't deserve to drink. Unless you're a blonde then that's a different story.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
hopped up on goofballs no doubt
breakofdawn1 0
did that
steeledwolf 8
14 I used to have a snake like that. ball python right?
breakofdawn1 0
uummm okay
I_R_Genius 3
Yes it is a ball python. It's a HET ghost ball python I got for my 14th birthday by my parents from their store. I love her to death, she is my life. I hope to breed her one day to a gorgeous male bumblebee ball python.
MrBoredGuy 1
so get drunk and try again
PushMyButtons 5
you stole those words right outta my mouth.
CurlyGurlF 6
haha
Absocold 0
This is why I practice balance and saying the alphabet backwards.
hellogoodbye1996 6
hey retard they ask you to say it backwards cause I drunk will try and a sober person will just say they can't do it.
chippa 24
What the ****? (@hellogoodbye1996)
ThatGuyYouDontKn 0
I can't even recite the alphabet backwards while sober, heck I can't even memorize the order of the middle letters without saying or thinking the alphabet song. haha.
AlyBong 0
lol my kindergarden teacher made the class memorize how to sing it backwards. id definitely fail though. One beer and I cant walk straight.
bbygiirl 0
@34 liiight weiiighhhttt! (it's okay, me too.)
hellokimmiee 5
do you have asthma? if not, go outside and quit playing video games all the time lazy bum. just assuming.
BahahahLOL 0
Then don't.
DynamicDave 11
Know what you do when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME.
Suavis 4
ehh that was kinda lame dynamic Dave. and you don't really need to be fit to pass a sobriety test.
knelson19 0
Try it drunk.
poopstainface69 0
I just shat on a turtle. FML
yomamaof3 1
yuzjhhuuu
chippa 24
LOL I want to meet you.
J_Marine 0
Oh yes! Now, Step bump! Step Bump Bump!
aliaskis 3
Naw, I can't dance. I'm just drunk!
TaylorTheBoss 4
Kids....
TheDrifter 24
Just do like I do and carry a cane, that way when they ask you to do manual dexterity tests you have a good excuse.
rockell 0
WTF how does that happen