Intimacy: Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and...

By Anonymous - 24/10/2013 21:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

agreeclassic 53 980

vote type 1 6 312

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By ShitFaced - 01/03/2012 11:35 - United States

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

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Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

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By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

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By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 04:28 - United States

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

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By Fartini - 07/11/2016 06:47

Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

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By brokedick - 12/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

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By sos - 17/01/2011 03:59 - United States

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

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By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

agreeclassic 22 913

vote type 1 3 816

doctorr_fml 9

Friday 25 October 2013 8:21

Stay drunk and take a Viagra

daniel_dd31 13

Friday 25 October 2013 10:05

I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.

Comments

harrisoncohix 5

Friday 25 October 2013 21:18

Wear a rubber, get buzzed, enjoy life.

Llama_Face89 33

Friday 25 October 2013 21:39

There's just no winning for you...

Dcm210 19

Friday 25 October 2013 21:54

Liquor disables your penis so you can't bang ugly chick's.

imchacon22 19

Friday 25 October 2013 22:52

Perfect answer!

midwestgirl89 13

Saturday 26 October 2013 0:58

so find a happy buzzed mrdium :)

nanjiii_fml 26

Saturday 26 October 2013 1:42

By the way: good luck!!! For you and your gf

noobienick 19

Saturday 26 October 2013 2:47

But what if it made him premature and can't get it up?

ulissey_fml 22

Saturday 26 October 2013 3:33

What you need is a stiff drink.

elixaaaaa 13

Saturday 26 October 2013 3:46

Omg this is my ex husband isn't it??

LittleRed79 39

Saturday 26 October 2013 5:42

Edit: wrong FML

BFons 19

Saturday 26 October 2013 7:23

Find the right balance.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

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