Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ShitFaced
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
tequilashot
Porto Alegre, Brazil 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
pride? what's that? :(
Leuven, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
brokedick
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
sos
United States
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
the-yao
United States
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Top comments
doctorr_fml 9
Stay drunk and take a Viagra
daniel_dd31 13
I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.
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Comments (123)
urmybatch 9
Is your name Kendall sasada ? Hah
abhi5 2
god bless u dear...!
LAVENCIERRR 4
JCal585 8
Just relax bro..
fmlfantom 8
Try smoking weed then
831curmudgeon 7
Yet another guy in search of "the prefect buzz"... not drunk, but not sober either!
adarauditore 3
masturbating is good practice
person18 1
Just be really good at oral, and the girl won't care. Especially if you're just hooking up. Seriously.
bgdkmcgee 10
Stop whacking it so much.
plantae 1
Practice self restraint. Contrary to the person who told you to stop jerking it as much, doing it more and holding off climax for as long as you can will probably do you much better. That helped someone I know, and the only other person I know with this problem doesn't ********** full stop.
plantae 1
#120 (continued). Also, becoming more 'worldly' with the gender you're attracted to might also help if it's to do with nerves or extreme-arousal, as might thinking of different thoughts than the job at hand. Don't mix alcohol and viagra unless you're okay with the possibility of death.
plantae 1
#121. If all else fails see a sex therapist. Also it's a pretty common issue; and if it's of any consolation, back in primal times you had an evolutionary advantage of spreading your seed as quickly as possible. Go you!
plantae 1
#122. Oh and if you smoke weed that might just be aggravating the problem - makes sex feel better and increases arousal for many people, haha.