Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Well worth it. She should be ashamed for behaving that way off duty and hopefully you can clear your name.
lantz4levi 19
That would be embarrassing. Why did you arrest this lady? "She punched me after I was trying to force myself on her husband"
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Comments (65)
Railroader 16
sounds like something my fiancée would do, she wouldn't care if it was a cop or not.
Alexandria79 22
If she presses charges then have your husband press charges on her for assault and attempted rape. That ought to be enough to ruin her or make her reconsider and drop the charges.
Richard6036 13
She may be too embarrassed to press charges because it might make her look bad to her superiors
Tyrez 32
She probably deserved it but usually it's a good idea to warn people when you are about to physically assault them.
countryb_cth 38
Yah sure cuz yah know everyone says "hey I'm gunna hit you in the face ok? cool" before hitting someone.
tkeeton46 17
Doesn't matter, if need be, press charges against her.
raygray20 7
**** that hoe thats why she shouldnt be a **** and trying to be on someone elses man, she deserved it but i feel bad for u, i hope it goes well for u
PANDORUM89 21
who cares?! I'm all for respecting the police, but #1 off duty so how would you even know and #2 she was being disrespectful for trying to mess around with a married man. ESPECIALLY with his wife present. The fact that she was an off duty cop shouldn't play a part in anything. She can't send you to jail for assault of a police officer and her behavior speaks poorly for her department. gather witnesses of the event and I guarantee nothing will happen to you.
iwadasn 33
What, you think the only way to keep your husband from cheating on you is to assault anyone who hits on him? Seriously, chill out. You behaving that way would be FML-worthy even if the woman hadn't been a cop.
DoomedGemini 38
Or rather than her worried about him cheating, she was worried the cop WOULDN'T LEAVE HER HUSBAND ALONE? If he repeatedly said no and she was all over him sexually harassing him, why shouldn't op punch her? Seriously, switch the genders. Would you be bitching?
Destiny8745 29
Your comment is Fml worthy. She was not hitting on him. Forcing herself on him was the wording that was used. Actually read the Fml before jumping to conclusions.
PANDORUM89 21
I would 100% put my hands on a woman that was forcing herself on to my man, why? because if he has asked her multiple times to back off he can't do much else without looking like a woman beater. I will look like a psycho for my husband and I expect him to do the same if any man forcing himself on me.
ammacias13 9
makes no difference show that cop
amsterdamgirl 20
listen I am a drunk. I can't stop drinking just the fact that you stood up for your husband is awesome.. you can write private messages. I live in the Netherlands if you need me ill be here.