Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
olpally 33
Well worth it. She should be ashamed for behaving that way off duty and hopefully you can clear your name.
lantz4levi 19
That would be embarrassing. Why did you arrest this lady? "She punched me after I was trying to force myself on her husband"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
Candied_person 13
So?
Jwaye2 7
It doesnt matter the situation, the cop is never at fault. I witnessed a drunk young off duty cop take a swing at a uniformed army soldier, the soldier blocked the punch, tripped the cop to the ground, stepped back and put his hands behind his back all in self defense, a patrol car quickly rolled up and arrested the soldier, arresting officer shook hands and laughed with the off duty cop. Next day it was in the paper the soldier was charged with assaulting a police officer and was in alot of trouble with the army aswell. I only know about the army trouble cause my housemate at the time was in the army and knew him.
KagamineRinny 14
there's no way you could've gotten in trouble for this, right? that chick was drunk in public and harassing you guys. she has nerve to try to arrest against self-defense.
natassjad 22
Would you be arrested for assault on a police officer or just regular assault?
DLBL 23
She's probably in more potential trouble than you are. Is she really going to bring attention to this incident? 'I was drinking and flirting..."