Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
I think you were drunk...calling it DWI??
StoryOfTheYear 15
Maybe the line "I swear to drunk officer, I'm not God!" will actually work in this situation.
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Comments (216)
kelsey_katie 17
That's no bueno. Cops shouldn't be drunk. And maybe you should be a better driver..?
cookies666 0
Dam mexican police officers
kelsey_katie 17
And by saying that cops shouldn't be drunk, I mean while they are out on the scheduled work time.
FlipInBrosky 4
-14 How the **** would you know the cop was Mexican? Just because the location was in..Texas? Ohh...wait
kelsey_katie 17
14&20: so basically what you're saying is that all people in the Texas-New Mexico area are Mexican? That is not the case and extremely wrong of you to say.
stro88 6
Sounds like you were raining on the cops parade. You shoulda been slick and told him that if you don't tell I won't, and taken him to a motel and showed him a good time. But don't forget the camera for blackmailing later on.
Keyman1212 14
I wonder what the cop did that made him appear intoxicated.
swinglifeaway123 8
Wow. Ur mind works in effed up ways.
Goldendesu 0
Well, that's just irony to the extreme. :/
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Cop: "Pulled over, you know, do why I? " OP: "No, aquifer, pulled over me how come you? " Cop: "Believe you I was driving intoxicated. " It's too complicated to record the conversation of two drunk people. I'll leave the rest open to interpretation.
rawrriri 8
Ah! Report thatt shit :P.
UtterCatastrophe 4
You can get in trouble for just being in the car while drunk! It's called a APC (actual physical control). It sucks.
dstryke 0
I'm sorry ocifer *hick* I only meant to have 1 drink *hick*
marinus_fml 20
I think you were drunk...calling it DWI??
marinus_fml 20
Oh apparently DWI is used often in the US? Here it's just DUI. My bad
MsSoulReaper 27
DWI stands for Driving While Intoxicated. It can be either one here in the US.
jessesgirl14 16
DWI= driving while intoxicated... DUI= driving under the influence.... DUI can be anything including illegal drugs/ pharm drugs... DWI is alcohol...
JayJ17 7
Not really. I live in the US and have never heard someone refer to it as DWI.
dbt88 15
It's rarely called that now because you can get in trouble for just having the keys in the ignition ("operating") - not physically driving, so it's more recently been called OWI. I haven't heard it called DWI in forever (DUI more recently).
Malkria 1
Maybe the cop said DWI instead if DUI....
robbilee 14
It's "driving without insurance" u dumb kids
j_cat187 20
DUI: Driving Under the Influence DWI: Driving While Intoxicated DWI is Far worse than a DUI
EnEl_Infierno 15
#27 I'm from texas and yeah it's referred to as a DWI, when you're pulled over for drinking & driving, and I should know, I have one. -_-
marinus_fml 20
#36 Nice trolling.
EnEl_Infierno 15
36- It's FTMFR (failure to maintain financial responsibility), when you're caught driving without Insurance. Silly kid, google man.
robbilee 14
I just googled it. In all the law study sites they refer driving without insurance and driving while intoxicated to be referred as a dwi. So relax kid
marinus_fml 20
I guess only in America do you need proof of insurance. Here in Aus you do not need to prove insurance or even have insurance.
EnEl_Infierno 15
#44 Different states, probably have different terms, but don't listen to me I'm drunk (no kidding) hahahaha.
enonymous 9
DWI here in CA stands for Driving With Intent. We don't stand for that shit here
marinus_fml 20
Especially if they ride that 'stache of yours!
tedjordan21 3
Never heard of OWI. Only DUI n DWI
ShawnzieNstuff 6
DWI can also mean driving while impaired.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Ms. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is DOA. Oh my God! Oh, sorry I mean DWI.
PeeEmEss 4
Bleach is awesome...
lisa_courtney 0
Wow sounds about right for the united states!!
92910bg 4
Their the same thing they invented DUI so they can bust for drugs
moonpie66 1
U are a Dumbass
TheRealHouse 7
73 that's DWAI.. driving while abilty I'm pared.. that's less than dwi and can be anything, even too tired.
white16sox 19
106 auto correct fail.
leadman1989 16
I feel so special for having seen that. :)
gypsylexi 5
Yeah in New Hampshire, US no insurance needed
MsKittyKatWeber 10
Thank you Capt. Dictionary.
Most_Dope 0
Thumbs down #90 cause she's hot?
kportal69 5
Well you didn't pay very much attention in the D.A.R.E. program. Or health or any of those drugs classes EVERYONE had to take at some point. Or on the news or in newspapers. You sir have no excuse.
truthinlies 1
34 I hear you can't even sleep in your car with your keys or its a dwi
False_Stupidity 42
Actually in Aus, you do have to have 'compulsory' third party 'insurance' when you own a car which you can get into trouble for not having.
buttercup_mcm 0
Lmbo!
ChubEchaser 0
In Oklahoma; DUI: driving under the influence (includes drugs and alcohol) statute subtitles distinguish the stimulant DWI: driving while impaired (includes drugs and alcohol). It is a LESSER crime than DUI. APC: Actual physical control of a motor vehicle while under the influence of intoxicants. Failure to comply with compulsory insurance law is no insurance and your vehicle will Be impounded.
morrowsource 0
You need to get out more
TheOptimist 0
To add to the nonsense of the replies number two, I now know why they called that kid "Dewy" (DWI) in the movie where his dad killed someone while Drunk driving. The one with Vanessa Hudgens, Pheobe from Friends, and that blonde with the funny mole from Phil of the Future. Yeah that one. I always thought it was DUI.
jc302406 3
dumbass of course it is! check your info before you go callin op drunk...bitch
Coolguyt2 0
Um it stands for driving while intoxicated
theonlybassist 8
The compulsory 3rd party is part of your rego though so I think that's why you can get in trouble if you don't have it.
blackedout5 0
#28 jayj ur a stupid **** ur a retard dumbfuck
rabid_otaku 29
I'm in America and have never seen DWI.
guyfrommichigan 5
Driving While Intoxicated it's a thing ya cotton headed ninny muggins
burnforeternity 30
We use both here in the US
Yours__Truely 0
Pshhh They're Such Hypocrites.
XxDevilxXGt 26
But Why Capitolize Every First Letter Of Every Word? It's Very Irritating, And Very Grammatically Uncorrect. ^^
XxDevilxXGt 26
Incorrect* Derp.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Maybe the line "I swear to drunk officer, I'm not God!" will actually work in this situation.
StoryOfTheYear 15
The problem is I haven't seen you in like a year, my friend.
TheBigFailer 0
I was high on crack when I dumped my gf.
kelsey_katie 17
I love your picture. Adam Lambert ftw(: Lol(:
alanalovesyou 0
The cop was drunk??? That's not right.
kleider1 9
It takes a drunk to know a drunk?
joelmota 0
Retard
alanalovesyou 0
Lol.
picklezz123 5
Oh the irony
BlahFYourLife 0
Maybe if you drove better you wouldn't of got pulled over.
Steven696 6
Well maybe if the officer was drunk it wouldn't matter?
ollie179 21
Heyyy you Isss drrruunnk. Geeet oouut of thee carrr Nooooooo imm nott drrunkk. Youuu arree! Noo imm a copp ii ish nnoot druunkk!
xXshadowrollerXx 6
How to Be Drunk: Repeat every letter you say two or three times. On a side note, sounds more like a conversation between two turtles to me. But I'm half-awake, so what do I know.
StoryOfTheYear 15
50- Wether you are being sarcastic or not, you are right. Slurring can occur if someone gets drunk and typing extra letters indeed does make someone sound/type drunk.
DomoLaDii 8
LOLZ
cicpjaky 6
Ohhh the irony