Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
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Comments (176)
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
alexsam_fml 10
I feel sad for the baby :(
tylahgrace 12
here's hoping that she has a boy!
Joshmokahontas 6
guess we can all assume she didn't read the rest of that billboard.
7yzz 18
Future Prom Queen? :D
SonOfAMitch 14
I guess you could call the child 'Clammy' or 'Dicky' as a nickname ... On second thoughts, nevermind.
StalkerChick 13
Sad thing is, I knew a girl named Klamidya (pronounced Chlamydia). I wonder if she ever got a legal name change. I would've done that exactly on my 18th birthday.
katties 27
@47 I had a guy in my class named Castrat...
sexxxysydney 14
A girl in my high school art class was named ********, pronounced "Sha Theed"
SerenaSerenadex3 13
Someone in my math class's last name is Fokanov, pronounced fuckinoff.
Sketchisan 27
I went to school with an Asian girl named, no lie, Atomic Ho.
7yzz 18
@129 LOL! and this girl is in Sydney??
hiitisbrooke 28
I know a girl named La-a, pronounced Ladasha.
Harshdfml 14
God bless "chlamydia"!
andyyroxx 20
Let it all happen... She will be the ruler of FML in the future.
heygirlie777 21
I read this comment to the tune of God Bless America...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
herpderpherpderp 13
many years of bullying ahead..
SonOfAMitch 14
Couldn't the father step in to change the name?
Mister_Triangle 21
I'm going to assume that a stupid mom who doesn't know what chlamydia is, is single and/or doesn't know who the father is
Myo_fml 20
Either that or he learned his lesson and ran long ago.
skyeyez9 25
Or homeschooled and sheltered her entire life.
CrissyyyS2 22
Dumb bitch she is. I bet she didn't even finish highschool to know what other STD's there are.
desoto96 9
100 - homeschooled? Seriously? I take offense to that statement, but then again. Everything on here is offensive in one way or the other.
ulissey_fml 22
Leave that woman alone! She's done her piece.
morgiepuff 14
100- ooh, a homeschooling joke! Really, not all of us are sheltered, stupid, anti-social little hobbits who's only friends are their siblings. I was homeschooled for 12 years and I turned out just fine.
lou_knee 6
Maybe you should have suggested Melena as an alternative?
Mister_Triangle 21
Or Chocolate Beefcake, or literally anything else short of Hitler AIDS
deegeebee 10
Melena would only work if their last name was stool. GOOGLE IT, PEOPLE!
seyrose 8
its better than "gonorrhoea" I suppose
BlackBlazeCobra 16
I hope she googled it once she got home...if not, the hospital better give her a serious lecture once the baby is born.
Sandman366 6
More like scolding, clearly she didn't pay attention to the lecture of what it was the first time around.
thatsucks4you 7
A woman like her probably isn't smart enough to use google, let alone a computer.
babe7260 30
Will be the most tortured child at school!
swagmaster6969 4
My dad told me about how a former student of his was named Placenta. That was probably pretty rough also.
MakeTodayADTR 20
I can sense a new TLC program in the works...
nattynatters 14
I sense a new trend where kids sue their parents for pain and suffering caused by terrible names. Could TLC make a show out of that? What would it be called?
MakeTodayADTR 20
A Boy Named Sue :P
ShyAnn29 15
"My parents gave me an STD...for a name!"
RedPillSucks 33
She could be named Rhea, with a nickname of Ghona or Dia
Angio113 10
"Growing Up Chlamydia" We might just be onto something...
ks23 9
F that kids life. And any other kids that moron might have.
Amama_fml 30
Poor baby girl! That girl is going to be teased!
simoncat 11
Worse so if it's a baby boy!