Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
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Top comments
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
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Comments (147)
ohmyword08 0
eeeww. poor you ):
Lisimal 7
Instead of lamenting herself, the OP should have beat the shit out of that bitch!
ninja578 0
it is wrong to beet up a drunk person... except in this case, go for it OP
birds_fml 7
Poor her, if you had done what you're supposed to do. What you're SUPPOSED to do in that situation is call the cops and have her arrested for assault. They'll probably charge her with public intoxication as well if she's so drunk as to pass out. That's your revenge... she gets jail time.
The_Chuck_Norris 0
sound like my girlfriend...wait a minute...Canada?....yup that was my girl.
lovesthesun 0
haha agree! "while i was yelling at her for being a bitch.." no you should have punched her for being a bitch, then you might have avoided getting puked on
slasher29 0
i dont know 31 there are more times than you think. oh and 62 and 63 agreed op eew. could've been worse i guess though. if the boyfriend got pissed for you screaming things could've been a lot nastier
mo_the_owl 0
god i hope you're kidding #42.
lunytunes88 0
If that were me, the girl would have woken up with her tongue cut off.
DigitalKnight 0
That is good advice.
Thunderbender 2
You didnt step on her face why?
White667 0
Surely you then got her boyfriends number?
Yoshi8466 0
....at least u can take pride in that you are prettier than that bitch! And then take her boyfriend after she passed out.
insidejokeswithm 0
46: Unless OP punched her in the stomach..vomit galore!
lollipops321 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
second! yes this is the highest ive been. and that sucks :( but at least you must have been hotter!
SaintJimmy 0
Fail. @OP: That girl was a real bitch. Take comfort in knowing she'll probably drink herself to death before she's 40.
tpag3r 0
i hope you realize your 3rd
lollipops321 0
i hope you realize we both commented at almost the same time. so when i was commenting, i was first.
lollipops321 0
well i mean, i was second lol. i said i was first as in before the other girl. if that makes sense? lol
chris274 8
Wow, 3rd! The fact that you got the wrong number is almost as sad as you getting excited at the prospect of getting 2nd on a site/app, Life?
TheLetterZero 7
That's when you ruin her dress.
D0GS_B1T3 0
I was thinking the same thing! xD I'm not bulimic, but if I were the OP, I would have stuck my finger down my throat and ruin her dress. Haha! I'm so rude!
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
fmh123 0
Hey at least you looked better in the dress than her AM i right!
xianwei 0
yeah, at least you KNOW you look good in the dress =)
vooper 0
Awh damn, that really sucks. You should have kicked her in the face and walked away. I would give you a hug, haha.
awoodenhouse 0
ydi for wearing clothes
Thunderbender 2
nvm
cramazing 0
elle ohh elle
DaDezza244 31
10 you're an idiot
Darksect0r13 0
i hope you did stuff to her when she was passed out