Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Well worth it. She should be ashamed for behaving that way off duty and hopefully you can clear your name.
lantz4levi 19
That would be embarrassing. Why did you arrest this lady? "She punched me after I was trying to force myself on her husband"
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Comments (65)
Rainyknights22 16
And? She was off duty and she was drunk. Not much respect there. I woulda made sure she saw stars if she hit on my husband. "Now run and tell that."
vikky538 29
Maa'm do you know why i stopped you? I want to hop on to your husband!!
islandreamzzz 2
well shit happens
learntoteach 10
Despite the circumstances, you really shouldn't have hit her. Honestly she doesn't have much grounds for an arrest but in these circumstances you need to be the bigger person. You could call the police, put yourself between them, call the bouncer (if there is one). Striking her should be your last option. You have a better defence if you can say "I tried other things first", because your hit could have caused her to fall and hit her head, creating a more serious injury. You are in a no win situation I hope it worked out.
iwadasn 33
I really don't see any defense for this. Flirting with a married man is not a crime, but what OP did is.
HylianTwilight 21
Um, it doesn't say the cop was hitting on the husband. She was trying to force herself on him. That doesn't mean mindless flirting, it's with the intent of getting what she wants, whether he likes it or not. OP did what came natural: protecting her husband. Hell, if I ever saw anyone pushing on my loved one, despite him saying no, I'd pull her aside and give a punch too. Things can happen too quickly to get security/bouncers/law enforcement involved in some cases.
TheDoctor10 28
Being a cop doesn't give someone the right to be a douchebag. It shouldn't, at least.
luvlu444 24
doesnt matter if shes a cop or a freaking lawyer, no one should be doing that sorta thing
sillygirl247 14
That's what you get for going around punching people. Grow up
leogachi 15
@79 Yeah, I'm sure Op woke up in the morning and thought, "It would be really nice if I got the opportunity to punch someone today." Trying to force yourself on someone is sexual assault and some people just don't stop until they get a fist to the face.
sierra_ky 19
If she was drunk could have pushed her off? Better yet why didn't your husband push her off???
KatsaGrace 3
I've found that a lot of men are super uncomfortable defending themselves against women given the "rule" that a man should never hit a woman. They stick to words and wind up taking a lot of abuse if the woman doesn't take the hint. He probably didn't know what else to do.
Thornorn 9
Don't think she can arrest if she's off duty.
bertie69 6
well that doesn't change any thing you're in the right