Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Well worth it. She should be ashamed for behaving that way off duty and hopefully you can clear your name.
lantz4levi 19
That would be embarrassing. Why did you arrest this lady? "She punched me after I was trying to force myself on her husband"
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Comments (65)
talicaroxi 25
cop or not she she be the one getting arrested!
patte_fml 19
Yeah. Violence is always a great solution. I'm sure you two had no other chance. You did absolutely right. Why not punch your way through every little obstacle in life?
revolvearoundme 15
Because some obstacles in life need to be kicked or hit with a hammer or stabbed with something pointy. I mean if you could punch open a Capri Sun without making a mess the world would be so much more awesome.
leogachi 15
@95 Yeah, sexual assault is so not a big deal. I don't see why people get so bent out of shape about it. *heavy sarcasm*
Kuibe 18
Just because she's a cop doesn't excuse her for trying to drunkenly hook up with your husband. Although punching may not of been the best solution I might of done the same thing.
worldclassrager 41
Is a cop being drunk legal?
The_ghetto_mango 25
If it is a DUI, no. But in the case of being just flat out drunk, it depends. In some states, like Missouri, public drunkness is legal. In others, it's not legal.
The_ghetto_mango 25
But that is in the case of the United States. Since this FML happened in the United Kingdom, it is an offence to be drunk: a) in public b) while on board (or boarding) an aircraft c) with a child under 7 yaers of age d) while travelling to a sporting event in public transport or a vehicle with eight seats or more e) while in or attempting to be in a designated sporting event So, the cop being drunk is making her worthy of a fine, and sexual-harassment is quite illegal, so the cop is facing charges as a sex-offender.
writerchic85 26
I don't see why you couldn't have gotten the manager to throw her out or something
843dude 5
So hit her harder damn it. Protect yo man
SynysterKilljoy 10
Still though... She had it coming
Manic1 13
She was an off duty cop and she was all over your husband, I would have punched her too. As it is she should have to explain herself to her superiors as to why she got punched in the first place. It probably wasn't her first time acting like a ho.
Dexter83_fml 17
Police officers are always on duty. That police officer has committed a sexual offence.
AmandaMarie9038 5
I hope she doesn't know what car you drive... you'll be getting a lot of tickets.