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Anonymous United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

293

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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redbluegreen 41

Perhaps you would have preferred something like this?: "Today, my substantially average sized penis filled with blood and I found myself with an erection as my licensed orthodontist cordially tightened the metal wires that had been previously laid upon my semi-crooked teeth. I did not know what to do. Fornicate with my unfortunate existence."

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Comments (293)

Peaceandlove1234 0

Sexy.

VenomSiphon 13

Seems like OP likes latex covered appendages in his mouth.

Damn_Hippster 11

That's always fun. After all, everyone loves a good stiffy in public places...

haw008 14

So immense pain gives you pleasure?

zombicidal 11

my dentist office has hot hygienist that tighten the braces and I enjoyed my visit every month

youcunthole 0

Kinky little ***** u

raphanne_fml 33

#39 "Immense pain"? Let's not exaggerate...

blackheart24 10

Aww the classic surprise boner. What turned you on, the face masks or the latex gloves being put in your mouth?

mohammadkm95 6

Cant help it if a hot women is playin around in your mouth

haw008 14

I'm sorry to upset you, 56. It's just that I've had braces myself and that word seemed appropriate to me.

cup_of_squirrels 6

Reply to zombicidal: It hurts like a bitch to get braces tightened

spiderman2211 0

Lol happens to me all the time... Then again my orthodontist is hot.

ShakeMeDown 12

39- It hurts so good.

Ibanez3x 5

It's just a slight discomfort for a few hours; immense pain is definitely an exaggeration. Then again no one has the same tolerance for pain

raphanne_fml 33

#98 You don't upset me at all :D I've had braces for 3 years, and yes it hurts, but I thought that the "immense pain" was a little bit exaggerated. That's all :)

KRS_13 0

Me too! :D

kickassnumerouno 0

OP is kinky. He likes it when you cause pain.

alex1432 9

That is hardcore dude

emilyfreeman 0

Agreed ! :)) it really does :/ I had braces for 6 1/2 years!! That was for 107

jackthekeeper 24

OP likes it tight

borntoperform 14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

I don't like the way this is worded. Popped?

KiddNYC1O 22

I thought it was funny. Sounds like a cartoon boner.

redbluegreen 41

Perhaps you would have preferred something like this?: "Today, my substantially average sized penis filled with blood and I found myself with an erection as my licensed orthodontist cordially tightened the metal wires that had been previously laid upon my semi-crooked teeth. I did not know what to do. Fornicate with my unfortunate existence."

every1luvsboners 11

Borntoperform, you just got served up like a plate of yams, with extra syrup.

breadfruit 0

Cordially and fornicate make no sense in that context, but still very funny 20.

youcunthole 0

40 it actually makes perfect sense, don't try to be a grammar nazi if you don't know proper English

perdix 31

Yeah, that used to be the verb you'd use with boner. Older folks used to say "pull a boner" to mean "make a mistake.". The confusion was quote amusing.

bizarre_ftw 22

Hey cool, perdix made a spelling mistake. I feel the same way I did after spotting a blue Herron in new England after snowpocalypse. Hmmm... I have no idea why I'm commenting this. Thumb-downs away!!!

brettlovesgirls 4

Bizarre-FTW... it doesn't really help your case when you show low self confidence in your commenting. Man why am I even posting this...

leogirl95 12

*insert onomatopoeia here*

bitchslapped22 14

112 why are you stealing enonymous's profile picture? Other than that I have nothing to say, and I don't really know why I'm commenting...

thisisafunnyname 12

yes, popped. like a pimple. wait what?

SystemofaBlink41 27

19- that is so full of win

WidoWxMakerR 0

I love you!!! Hahaha

WidoWxMakerR 0

That previous comment was for redbluegreen haha

zuzupetalsYO 11

I LOVE the way this is worded. Popped! Classic

22cute 17

#20 you rule! I think I love you :)

jbo116 0

112 - I hate you. Please fall in a hole and die. That is all.

fanceh 10

Why did my comment not go through...?

sheethapins 13

20 Thank you for my laugh out louds for the day. I particularly enjoyed your detailed translation of this young man's untimely arousal. Tally ho and pip pip.

tweetypie 18

19 has the most thumps up I've ever seen!! :O

sambyrdPF 4

Nice words, haha

AnonymousTroll 2

Once you pop, you can't stop! Man I wish this comment was higher up...

Kuqito 0

That was deep

HanaFML 10

*Anonymous

Bquillero16 18

Wow #19, pretty and smart (I don't mean that creepily or sarcastically)

Okayitwasme 0

Those things must have a mind of their own!

breadfruit 0

When you're a teenager, that's basically true. Given the behavior of OP's erection, I'm going to assume he's a teenager. FYL OP, that's always awkward, but most people won't notice and anyone who does probably empathizes (or if they're female, they still probably understand).

bannamann 4

When I read it I swore it said "I pooped a boner" not popped a boner

bizarre_ftw 22

I would Love to hear an explanation on the anatomy of that one

False_Stupidity 42

Sadly it's not restricted to just teenagers.. I still get random boners at 36.. Always at the most awkward times too.

divadro102 16

Ahhhh good ole NRBs.. No Reason Boners

Mister_Triangle 21

RBS(Random Boner Syndrome) is a terrible affliction that affects men of every age

sheethapins 13

23 The fact he was getting his braces tightened sent up the teen flag before the erection during the process, likely do to having just gone through puberty. So yes, I'd say op is between the ages of 14 and 16. Tops.

MrSarcasm 4

RBS or SIBS. Which is the most evil? Just pray you don't get both at the same time.

Yodaevil 4

Lol havent heard "popped a boner" since the 3rd grade! And yes they do have a mind of their own, hence why we always get in trouble!

jojo66567 5

Nice. At least it was a girl?

x_xSublime 0

36- Pretty sure that's what the question mark is for.

bizarre_ftw 22

TheIsland - yeah agreed, that's what I thought too. In the end: badly phrased sir, badly phrased.

evilteddybear 0

So he says!

iam_yummylicious 12

I used to get an erection when my orthodontist was working on my mouth. He was pretty hot. :)

Miguelx120 0

^ haa! Gay!!

iam_yummylicious 12

Ha! OMG, no way... I'M GAY? Oh shit! I never knew that. Thanks captain obvious. Now shoo before I infect you with my gay-ness. Because you know, us gays are evil creatures from the deepest darkest reaches of hell!

taera 8

All orthodontists are female? I never knew! /sarcasm

cj7geojeep 0

166 what's wrong with gay people? Your no better than they are, asshole

hydeiken 0

You look pretty gay yourself!

Hoplon 1

Your braces weren't the only things that were tight

iliketurdles 7

Why, what else was tight? FYI, he has a penis, not a ******. Men don't get tight, we get hard. FUCKK YEAA.

G0v3nat0r 7

He was talking about OP's pants

flockz 20

*facespear* nice 43, you sound like a stud who's knee deep in pussy.

josejimenez 0

He's a virgin. Calm down

josejimenez 0

Hes a virgin. Calm down

Sansational_ 18

#43 Perhaps the hygienist.

chester75 5

That's hilarious personally hate my orthodontist so I wouldn't care the least bit, don't be so embarrassed it's natural :)

haw008 14

Don't be embarrassed? It's natural? If I had a penis and it flopped up while someone had their hands in my mouth, I would be horrified.

deadman93 8

it dosent have to be the fact theres fingers in his mouth. OP is probably a masocist (sp?) and got a hard on from the pain.

bizarre_ftw 22

(^Masochist)

haw008 14

That's an interesting way to put it, 71. However my point was that getting a boner in public is something most would be embarrassed about.

RedPillSucks 33

He could also have been staring down the hygienists breasts as she bent over to tighten the braces. I love going to my dentist.

alexloveyou_fml_fml 8

Haw008: Guys do not "flop" a boner...

alexloveyou_fml_fml 8

Haw008: Guys do not "flop" a boner...

kiitykat 8

Haha good luck next time u go there i hated it when i had to go

21jason 9

Should have told her to work on that while ur there

MrSuperEmoticons 3

Mmm, that's right. Poke at my teeth. Yeah, harder...

sailoroftheseas 7

Yes!! Tighter, tighter!!!!

GVirdi 11

Pop goes the weasel!!

drawmesunshine 17

And boom goes the dynamite.