Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Pleased to see me?
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Morning glory
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Not now, Cooper
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Cockstepblocked
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Top comments
Mischief109 11
Get ready for Wincest comments galore...
dixiefoxx 22
Never look someone in the eyes while you or they are eating a banana..
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Comments (247)
Mischief109 11
Get ready for Wincest comments galore...
LO388 7
Ughh those are the worst.
ClassyCommando 13
Next of kincest
Harpy20 24
You may want to consider some therapy, OP.
KaeporaGaebora 4
Guys tend to zone out when it comes to those things. He was probably just thinking of the sexual reference rather that the fact that it was his sister. Especially if op had just gotten out of bed. Gotta love those delayed morning woods.
Metallica36176 16
108- Wait....they can be delayed? Hell I just learned thats hard guys to pee with morning wood....wtf? I thought I knew some of this stuff...
ryry013 6
Why the down votes? Do you expect her to know all about details of morning wood? This is a learning experience for her
mercsl65 7
Morning woods are funny like that. It's like natures way of reminding you, hey you have penile unit down there, use it today, son, and spread some life around.
Liamj774 36
WINCEST
tjv3 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dude that's so not cool and why do you have to be from Texas ? Givin us a bad name and all. Well unless you are goin through puberty then it's really not your fault it's the damn hormones and you can't control the flag pole. It controls you so go watch some **** lol
license2chill 5
Well, you are right about one thing, it is hard to pee with the morning wood, a lot of time I have make a ~40 degree angle with the ground, with one hand bracing myself off the wall, in order to pee...
mashad_fml 4
Just go and sit down, makes it a lot easier :P
n3rd43v3r 10
Only legal in Nevada
Bakarra 22
I'm amused by the fact that this was posted by someone in Texas/ the south.
sens3sfailing 25
I feel like state doesn't matter. There is a lot of white trash in New York too... Just as there are a lot of civilized, intelligent people in the south, like Houston who actually voted in an openly gay, female mayor...TWICE. Just goes to show you can never judge
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Random boners at awkward moments...
delevish 3
Texas isn't the south.
n3rd43v3r 10
Then where the hell is it?
gracehi 33
Texas, like Florida, is geologically located in the south, but it is not the south. People from those states don't tend to have southern accents for some reason.
garrett8614 2
179- I live in Texas, and there are plenty people with southern accents. Texas is very much the south.
gracehi 33
Everyone I ever met from Texas didn't have a southern accent. Maybe it depends on what part of Texas people are from. It's a pretty large and populace state, so I imagine it must have all sorts of cultures within it. It pisses me off to no end when I tell people I'm from New Jersey and they say, "Oh, you don't sound like you're from New Jersey." I reply, "Yes I do. I just bdon't sound like I'm from New York like those 'Jersey Shore' ***** or people who live in the New York suburbs of north New Jersey."
Wood1andcritter 3
Not THE south though IN the south
USMCbabyy 9
What the ****.... Is incest seriously legal there?? I don't think I believe that, but I'm gonna check just to make sure 'cause that creeps me the **** out. Oh and OP, depending on ur age, if ur going through puberty right now, getting boners at inconvinient or extremely awkward time is not really something you can control, so if I were a guy and I had to deal with stuff like that, then i would figure out a way to hide it wen it happens. Like securing it in the waistband of ur pants until it goes away lol. I think that works as long as ur shirt is loose enough.
n3rd43v3r 10
Then you're meeting the wrong people
SircalebS 6
I live in Texas, but Houston. There are no accents.
Kirito_SAO 9
Yes but the reason it is funny to some ppl is b/c it meets the stereotype... unfortunately stereotypes dont need to be true to be widely believed
ma12r 22
dude not cool that's your sister...nastehh
lolololer 8
I don't think he planned on this to happen....
ma12r 22
still it's his sister you shouldn't pop one just cuz she's eating a banana
lolololer 8
well I'm not a guy so correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't getting a boner something you can't really control all the time? Because from what I'm getting from this FML is that OP could not control it.
Bekeliyr 10
You have a bit of control. Sometimes you just really can't hah
lilhellian 27
23 Sometimes you can control it, but sometimes they just pop outta the blue. And a hint to guys, if you cause pain such as biting your tongue, your boner should go away. The pain should distract you from being horny.
frdmnky12 6
What is he's a kinky one? Wouldn't that make it worse?
MichellinMan 20
You know what, boners appear at random times, and we all know it.
DictatorDom 5
Okay, as a GUY, and a teenage one, I can tell you that no, you can just magically control boners. Especially as a teen, they literally just show up.
desoto96 9
I happen to be a master in the ways of boner control, for it is a skill not many have.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
If you flex your quad muddle while sitting down your boner will go away in 20 secs ... The blood will leave your c=3 and go to your legs... The more you know
evig_fml 16
98- now I just have to learn what all those terms are...
buck33 14
You don't even necessarily have to be horny for a boner. NRB
Metallica36176 16
I don't know why but I love these threads...I learn so much about guys. I had no idea it was so easy..
ryry013 6
113 - As a guy, so do I O.o
senor_awesome 14
113- you must inspire them so easily you have no idea what you have done...let the thumbs down begin.
Le_Anonymous 9
In all honesty, he's probably creeped out by it too. I'm sure he doesn't have a thing for his sister.
Teyros 24
Boner alert!
LordoftheOcelots 10
I didn't realise it said sister. I thought the FML said grandma
Mrjangleybits 1
135 how?
ALlamaOnFire 20
135 - Should've gone to specsavers:)
ImaSnowman 2
Amen
jessesgirl14 16
I think OP is the guy who's girlfriend was slowly conditioning him to get turned on by the scent of bananas...
dzhunt 6
127 Exactly that's the whole point of it being an fml.
Karma_Geddon 36
I can't get over the number of people rushing to defend such utter utter filth. I may not understand what it is like to be male but as a woman if I found out this from one of my brothers I would be totally disgusted and definitely would not feel comfortable around them again. If the OP is a teen then only sounds like a deviant in the making and if not...I don't even want to think about this anymore
lectricpharaoh 9
It's a physiological phenomenon. It doesn't mean he's actually aroused. A guy going through puberty has no more control over random erections than a girl does over her period. On a related note, it is a documented fact that some female rape victims will have orgasms during the assault. This, too, is a physiological thing, and doesn't mean they consented or 'secretly wanted it'. Grow up, and learn some biology.
dixiefoxx 22
Never look someone in the eyes while you or they are eating a banana..
bandofsand 10
Advice to live by. You could probably extend it to other phallic shaped food items.
gc327072 31
Popsicles. Sophomore year I sat with these seniors that would burst out laughing when this girl would eat a Popsicle across the cafeteria, because she seriously deep-throated the damn thing. It didn't make us turned on, we just couldn't contain our lols.
BulldogHoops 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There are some deeper issues there... I have a sister who I have been told is quite attractive, but I have never been sexually attracted to her.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Same with my cousin. It's just some inner feeling of just no, not possible to get a boner for her in any way.
HannahLouise96 13
Yeah, I've been told that my brother is very good looking but I'm just like "Eh, he's my brother. To me he's just incredibly annoying."
Kaerunoutof 3
Ah you were standing up. I understand at last.
HiIAmKevin 8
What's this sister look like? I'll give you my thoughts!
Pyapi 20
Finding a person attractive and being attracted to a person are two different things. I have very attractive cousins and friends. I know they're good looking and I understand why people say that. That does NOT mean I am attracted to them in any way
twinkiefeets 17
But have you watched her eat a banana?
Nadron 21
You better pray that she doesn't read FML. Because that will be one awkward conversation.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Now all the girls with a brother named Bill who eat bananas are gonna be freaking out, why must op ruin it for all these innocent Williams?
pipinya 8
Now how many "Bill"s do YOU know that live in the US? Uh-huh that's right, bet you couldn't answer that one
SammyS2012 21
Bill Clinton? Any guy I met throughout life named William? Bill Nye the Science Guy?
MatteKudasai 17
74- Bill Gates, one of the richest and most well-known men in the world?
Posthuman 26
74, Billy Idol
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
:) Billie Joe Armstrong
Codezlol 21
Bill O'Reilly lol. **** it DO IT LIVE!!
NeonPopRocks 14
My brothers name is Billy.....
UltimateGIRness 16
My mothers name is Billie. My dads best friends name is bill, my uncle bill. There's more but I'm done typing
SDTD10 5
74- There are 176,340 people in the U.S. with the first name Bill. howmanyofme .com
michael666 7
that's horrible haha im sorry,
tmmundy 17
157...that's good information, thanks.
mvc3ftw 17
billy the kid,billy bob Thornton,billy banillyfanafofilly?
Bulldozer1981 4
Do you eat bananas for breakfast?
Neligee 9
So wrong :|!
YoungMisfit 9
Yet so right!
Enslaved 38
That's what they say about those fake couch agencies. :P
FelicityWishes 32
Thankfully you were sitting!
mercsl65 7
You're a guy. It's natural. People always like to think of themselves as everything but an animal. U recognized the disgustingness of it and moved on. When my wife lays on me I get an erection, not from arousal but just from stimulation.
MorganXAlexander 6
So it's natural for him to be sexually attracted to his sister? I think your version of natural and everyone else's version of natural is completely different.
Metallica36176 16
In other words its natural for it just to pop up, regardless of relation sadly...
onlychildFTW 34
Because he got a boner from her it doesn't mean he's sexually attracted.
KingMomo360 13
104- Having a boner doesn't always mean you're sexually attracted to someone or something.
mercsl65 7
Oooooohhhh number 104 got moted!!!
BigD3452 6
Amen bro I still get wood watching my wife shower ; )
Divine_Mamma 11
You can get boners from things other than sexual attraction.
Bowlcuts 1
So did you get it in?
TheMaster15 10
What the heck is wrong with you?
Shaebug12 0
bahahahahah im dying .
ryry013 6
Well... um are you ok? Don't want anyone dying around here.
gracehi 33
Of course she's not okay! Are you mad, man? She ******* DYING!!!!
vladimirjames 5
Dat -69 votes ;D
XboxOneGodess 8
hahaha