Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
iceroyalty1984 14
Lesbian sex tends to be the safest sex, sooo... Good for her?
Ronnie_loves_you 11
It's really not.
JukeboxValkyrie 19
I would be slightly concerned and promptly contact the friends parents. They're a bit too young for that.
lubu8ju 3
Wow they do start young!;)
Foxy_On_Fire 21
Hate to break it to you but your daughter is a lesbian. Muff diving means to orally eat out a woman or pussy.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
and so begins the awkward encounter the next day :3
Laughingstock 2
It's when you eat a hairy puss
Devin91 20
I'm 20 and had to look that up, I feel so old -_-
scars_souvenirs 0
I agree
scars_souvenirs 0
I just meant I'm also 20 and had to look it up..
atomic_rectum 0
Holy balls that lesbian... Wait...
stormchaser24 24
Dont eavesdrop
samm779 0
You just made my life.