Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
Deantastic 0
Neat. I got mine not too long ago. ;)
clumsychik 1
You stole my picture!
ansky56 0
Wow dude get her a ***** and call her a He!!!!
laughallday12 0
Da ****?
justlikeme79 9
Mmm **** you.
mackischillin 5
I think you are a certified dumbass but that's just my opinion.
immaMonsta 8
Pretend like you didn't overhear. If she knows that you overheard she'll probably equate that to you eavesdropping even if that isn't what you were doing. Wait until she comes out and tells you, and do NOT assume anything. Just remember, she's a teen. Teenagers (mostly teen girls) experiment. Some experiment more than others.
derkster 6
Wow that's wild
alexicanaaa 7
Hahaha the deserved it is on 69. Lolololol.
alexicanaaa 7
I thought it was pretty funny. Hahahahah.
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
I didn't.
cetlawizard 15
I personally was relieved when I found out the same thing about my (then) 15 yr old step daughter, what was the real disappointment was when 3 months later she got drunk & stoned, gave up her virginity to a guy & stayed in a sexually abusive relationship with him for a year & didn't tell anyone until we found out she was having sex with her next pot head boyfriend she dated after that who screwed around on her...my wife STILL refuses to press charges against the 1st guy because "he'll have to register as a sex offender & it'll ruin HIS life"..wtf about how her daughter's life has been ruin is what I don't get. Be glad yours isn't in the same situation!!
antwon86 4
Bro.… your daughters a ****.
iloveweed69 7
Sounds like they had a great time
Enslaved 38
I wanted to get my incense in that too but the stick shift always got in the way.
isis_morrigan 18
It's always handy to be able to operate either! I recommend a dual license! Lol
seamonkeys 10
Getting your license isn't hard. Its just an oral exam.
studdmuffin1990 7
Wow... Kids these days. Must be all these Girls Gone Wild videos
legresley85 1
Why does the guy always have to pay when an underage girl sleeps with him and lies about he age? How is he supposed to know she's lying, can he read her mind. If your daughter is acting like a *****, where does her responsibility begin? Women are equal now so....Women are sexually more mature, at a younger age so.... these are just something's to keep in mind. No I am not condoning sex with children or rape. So don't insert that opinion into my comment.
R3TROxLOV3 32
What are you even talking about? This isn't what the FML is about.. AT ALL.