Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
pdxtrent 0
At least they're not sleeping with boys?
groupleader 7
That is such a fun age....oh yeah, Giggity too!
CurlyGurlF 6
wow
grace12898 0
Oh god, I'm assuming they did it to each other, and I wouldn't be able to look at my friend the same way ever again
j_cat187 20
Muff diving does not sound remotely dirty.
fuzz97 23
That makes me moist
grace12898 0
Candy kiss- I'm in 7th grade and there is a couple in 8th grade that got pregnant, an nobody respects her or can act normal around him anymore, not to mention he moved a few weeks ago and she's on her own. It's too young and you are a little ***** for doing it and thinking its o.k.
momo1972 3
Nice, kudos on the parenting
JayJayGrace 6
Its eating someone out... Trust me.. Its exactly the same as carpet eating, i have mine too.
linkinpark98 24
"Does the carpet match the curtains?"
BruisedGiraffe 15
I believe the saying is "does the carpet match the drapes," and I don't believe it's any of your business