Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Top comments
glimmer980 20
I think you need to have the birds and the bees talk before she does end up pregnant
ComoEsJuan 24
The birds and the pees. Wait...
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Comments (183)
GreatBigWorld_ 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When I was drunk I did that once..
alex_jones2312 7
Hopefully that was the last time you got drunk
HersheySquirts 17
Hopefully the girl #1 pissed on, Wrote an FML about it.
myGRAM 14
yeesh... I hope you gained some maturity by the time the kid was born...
8born8 18
Aahhh the golden shower. Not my cup of tea, but whatever floats your boat. And I think we've all been that drunk once.
rhysfucker 24
R Kelley?
MaxCrack 2
Piss on someone to get them pregnant?
glimmer980 20
I think you need to have the birds and the bees talk before she does end up pregnant
TrippingOnAcid 29
Or maybe OP's daughter knew her mum was eavesdropping
Soviet_American 29
^ I think talking about getting peed on, would make for a more awkward convo...
NiceGuysDoWin 21
If your daughter is 16 and you haven't educated her about sex, you have failed as a parent. Why are parents so squeemish talking to their kids about sex? If they are old enough to ask the question, "Where do babies come from?" they are old enough to start getting answers to those questions. If people would just be honest with their children and be open to discussions about sex, drugs, smoking, alcohol, or any other topic when their kids are young, they wouldn't have a problem with their kids being comfortable talking to them about this stuff when it matters.
mattrd_fml 31
64: OP is a dad.
Epikatz 22
OP's name is SadMother, but the post says they are male... so mom or dad?...
flutterby789 8
well said! as a parent you should educate your child!
oatmeal96 10
Yea but isn't this in a way a good thing?
Marley_000 14
Agree 100% #70. This is a YDI. What kind of parent lets their child make their own assumptions about sex right up to age 16? A little past due for the talk. And if their daughter does end up pregnant, or worse, peed on; OP has no one to blame but themselves.
BSnapZ 21
#117 You think being peed on is worse than getting pregnant?
brivielle 15
#111 No. Ignorance is not innocence.
brivielle 15
No, ignorance is not innocence.
Cebolamole 13
Or worse - peed on...
Mr_retardo 8
You people have heard of sex Ed in school, right?
oneloonyluna 13
A hell of a lot of schools leave the decision to take that class up to the parent, and a hell of a lot opt their children out because "it'll make them sexually active if the learn about it".
laden_swallow09 35
Sounds like some Sex Ed is in order, and not just The Talk, either.
AoC15 10
There really isn't sex ed it's just health and it doesn't go deep into sex. And you see the outcome of that
okaydisarray 17
I'm assuming 3 meant that OP needs to educate her daughter on the subject of sex and the mechanics of reproduction. Meaning she needs to go a little more in depth than most parents do when having "the talk."
howsthisforaname 34
Ahhh abstinence only education at its finest. Get a biology text book and talk her through how it works.
garrett_8614 14
Whether or not the school has a Sex Ed or health class, it is very important for a parent to talk about stuff like this in detail. The last thing you want is a misinformed child walking around confused about how sex or pregnancy works
Just_A_Tree 20
A lot of places teach abstinence only anymore (as far as I know). They teach safe sex, and all the risks, and then do a good job of reminding students that abstinence is the only way to ensure 100% not pregnant or other varying diseases. I've even been to a sex education put on by the church. And even then. They still taught safe sex, yet still leaning toward abstinence. I don't know if it's the same everywhere though.
m1e0l 12
Wasn't it your job to have "the talk" with her?
Metthew 15
If that's what she heard and believe, I think you need to get your butt in gear and tell her how it really is, considering you're the parent - embarrassing for you that you haven't bothered to tell her before she turned 16 AND got a boyfriend.
ComoEsJuan 24
The birds and the pees. Wait...
Rainhawk94 27
Did she get that info from R.Kelly
Gravenmuir 18
She smells like R. Kelly's sheets...pissssssssssssssssss
AddictGamer 16
But shit, it was 99¢!
dammmnnnn 6
Coppin' it, washin' it, 'bout to go and get some compliments Passin' up on those moccasins someone else's been walkin' in Bummy and grungy, **** it, man I am stuntin' and flossin' and Savin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain, bitch I'ma take your grandpa's style, I'ma take your grandpa's style, No for real - ask your grandpa - can I have his hand-me-downs? (Thank you) Velour jumpsuit and some house slippers Dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin' They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard Hello, hello, my ace man, my Mello John Wayne ain't got nothing on my fringe game, hell no I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those The sneaker heads would be like "Aw, he got the Velcros"
FrozenMusic 26
Where did she hear that exactly?
vikky538 29
on Disney...
stevib1223 5
Someone's going to be a grandma!
mattrd_fml 31
you mean grandpa.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Time for the sex talk