Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
99. You had to say it didn't you? LOL. So did I...
jad07 0
Haha well i'm sure she will be doing more of that, with an official license now.
silvergaze 1
Go girls! Whoooo!
silvergaze 1
Lol why bother? It aint gonna stop her from being gay. Talking never stopped me!
kabz2386 2
Wow do you people seriously NOT know what muff diving is? RREEEAALLLYYY need to get out from under whatever rock ur living under.
Person1233 13
It isn't a common term in a lot of places.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
96. That's why I also said high school. By the time a normal/average kid graduates high school they will know these terms and have experienced them first hand. I don't think anyone ever taught me the term muff diving. The writing was on the wall the first time I heard the term.
kaylareneewynn 1
Experimentation is okay. Girls like to know what all sexual body parts do and feel like. The fact that she said it like that shows it was just for fun tho. But also shows she's not mature enough to really know how to react to sex. Or how to feel about it.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Retro love. I appreciate the notable input. You're gorgeous btw. Keep that attitude and you'll go far
R3TROxLOV3 32
Ummm thanks? x_x
Shrike 24
There's a reply button, so use it you dumb shit.
kabz2386 2
Newho yeah seriously, you should talk to her. Be supportive and informative and understanding but have a comprehensive talk. Best of luck and try not to be too too hard on her.
tehdarkness 21
She was probably talking to a guy on the phone and lying about it to sound hot and slutty. Guys love that.
CaptainPickles72 18
Not really. I might be the minority of guys or something, but if I hear about some of the stuff a girl has done, and I'm interested in said girl, it's a turn off. Even if it was something with another girl. I have ostrich syndrome when it comes to others' past experiences: I know they did something, but I'll pretend it never happened.