Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (472)
tlccarino 0
is she a lesbian?
Quinton1992 0
Means going down on another girl.. But at 14 they shouldn't know that,I'm 19 I didn't even know, I'm sure I'm not the only person...
andrewsgirl2010 7
Im 21 and didnt know...
Irrelevant14 5
It means to give oral to a woman which hasn't shaved
natebart88 0
i thought it wss diving into a pool of ear muffs? :/
Acameron24 0
Shouldnt that be a guy thing ?
RC_lovers022211 0
At least you don't have to worry about her getting knocked up.
sportsfreak81 0
Wow kids grow up too fast!
HooHooHa 6
I'm 12 and how do you eat a pussy? Do you cut it off or something?
razorz_edge22 0
What is muff driving lol
iceblue_fml 0
"its10 o'clock. Do you know WTF your kid is doing????" parents should pay more attention to their kids rather than letting tv and the Internet do it!!!!