Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
Millman_fml 9
That got me hard:)
Jewlz1162 5
TMI dude TMI
melrose90210 10
You raised her well.
makeyourmark 4
They could also be referring to a shot known as a muff dive. " Place a dollip of whipping cream in the bottom of a Large Martini glass. Carefully put the shooter full of alcohol on top of the dollip. Surround the shooter glass with whipping cream. Then drink the shot without using your hands."
rattusrattus 19
... drinking four years under the legal limit is more worrying than sex, IMO. Fourteen may be a little young, but four years underage drinking is more likely to be damaging than two years underage (safe, consensual, desired) sex.* * Age of consent in UK is 16. Or to put it another way, two more years of *********** than Californians get.
makeyourmark 4
I was drinking at 14 and lost my virginity at 14
ilovefall10 21
God. They keep getting younger and younger! It almost makes me feel like a weirdo for being a virgin at 17. Well, at least she isn't having sex with some older dude. Though, that isn't saying much.
soad4life 2
It's also a type of shot
fmlrocks25 0
Be a better parent gosh like how dose that happen ???????
mmjluvi 1
Hahaha atleast yu won't have to worry bout her getting preggo
1ManBrigade 1
That'd be an awkward conversation
rachel_potter 13
I think she's joking. When I was 14 I talked with my friends about jumping on boners and eating chicks out and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18.
myanginski 0
Fmeonce is stupid