Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
bigmansanders 1
U must b real proud lol
chawncy 0
For someone that is bothered by what they heard from there daughters conversation it really doesn't help to say "you must be proud" it's rude and childish
fafu_fml 4
That's too young for a girl.
kurofuchs 5
And 14 year old boys are allowed sexual experiences? Why? Patriarchal crap I guess.
deadman93 8
i couldve happily gone along with my day without knowing a 14 yr old likes clit
TheFakeAsian 0
Whatever the **** that is...
CaptainPickles72 18
I'm surprised the comment section hasn't been locked for this FML yet!
mikeymayhem_87 15
Look at this way: A. Your daughter has no idea what muff diving is. ( highly unlikely since she's a teen and they know all kinds of weird stuff ) B. She's full of crap and is just making stuff up to look popular or whatever And.. C. She's either experimenting or has gone full blown lesbian. Best of luck!! :p
justalilrandom2 4
Not about being gay you idiots, why you need to jump to play that card ASAP is beyond me, about being 14 and that sexually active... I'd hate to think my sister who is the same age is that far on... If, just if, the comment referred to talking about being gay the parents should definitely have a chat. Establish how the child feels and let them know they aren't isolated, weird or unique for feeling that way. It would make for a happier relationship... Don't just assume he meant to try and talk the girl out of it, idiots.
cuddlebunny3548 11
Disgusting.
fuzz97 23
Prude.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I would certainly bother talking to my 14-year old daughter about it. Having a cavalier attitude towards sex at such a young age is not want any parent wishes for. Make sure she knows there are dangers involved in oral sex, too - even between women. Leave your feelings, whatever they may be, out of it and let her know you'll be around if she wants to talk.
Bozone 7
In my town , muff diving is when you try to get a shot surrounded by whipped cream using no hands . To each their own =)
TheNinjaBacon 8
Really? Wat town do u live in thats weird! No offence tho
Bozone 7
Haha it's not all weird , I didn't want to tell OP that it was something sexual .