Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
LakynBoBacon 0
There's also a drink called a "muff dive" seeing as how all the younger kids are doing that. They could hve just been talking about that!
anarchyx6661 6
Daughter is lesbian apparently, congrats
adriiliciious 2
There's nothing wrong with her being gay. But if she's just being a follower and acting like she is. Just because it's "cool". Then there is something wrong with that. She's a stupid little girl, who is going through that "phase stage".
christina201288 6
If your 14 year old daughter is gay, you should probably talk to her about her feelings regarding it, instead of posting shit on the internet.
SeemsToFail 0
Urban dictionary is so usefull, but ya u should parent better
courk94 6
Guess its time u hook ur daughter up with a leather jacket & a tongue bar !
igive 29
Muff-cabbage!!
NEVERENUFF1 0
You know they say about MUFF DIVING " A GGOD MUFF DIVER IS A PROUD MUFF DIVER "
griffin1617 3
At least she won't get pregnant, consider encouraging her until she moves out lol
goofff 0
Okay seriously people? Muff diving is not just going down on a chick it is also when a martini glass is filled with whipped cream and a shot glass is placed in the middle and covered with more whipped cream. Someone has to get the shot out and swallow it only using there mouth...
EvilDave 13
Um. No.