Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, as an Uber driver, I try to make small talk with passengers by guessing where they were from based on their accent. I got it completely wrong. This one said, “I grew up two streets from here.” The rest of the ride was silent except for my GPS telling me where to go, which felt appropriate. FML
Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML
Today, I got into a heated, one-sided argument with my GPS, and ended up driving around in circles for an hour due to roadworks messing with my GPS's computations. FML
Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML
Today, while driving on the streets for the first time, my mom decided that it would be an appropriate time to yell at me for every single mistake I’ve ever made in my life. This stressed me out so much I began driving against traffic. FML
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
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Top comments
Haldu 50
I think that after the fifth time, you should have considered stopping on the side of the road, or if it was not possible on the first area or parking that allowed it, to manually adjust Maps instead of flogging it.
RichardPencil 32
The phone's AI is wise enough to know you'd screw things up if you had unsupervised access to Maps and getting direction from "Mum" is what you need.
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Comments (3)
Haldu 50
I think that after the fifth time, you should have considered stopping on the side of the road, or if it was not possible on the first area or parking that allowed it, to manually adjust Maps instead of flogging it.
RichardPencil 32
The phone's AI is wise enough to know you'd screw things up if you had unsupervised access to Maps and getting direction from "Mum" is what you need.
Shzusuziq11 12
Change your mum's contact name. (maybe to mother?)