Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML
Today, after laying down to sleep, my boyfriend seemed like he was having trouble trying to say something. After asking what was wrong a couple of times, he said, "I don't want to do this anymore" and got up and left. I had planned on telling him I love him. Saved myself some embarrassment I guess. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three-hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It was his dick size wasn't it OP? They say people who keep back information or lie say it in their sleep.
br0ccoli 15
"His dick looks exactly like mine before the surgery. He doesn't even know. He doesn't even know... Turtle has been hidden."
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Comments (114)
MrCatman1125 2
First
twinny_sc 13
Just don't.
SkoomaKi 28
It was his dick size wasn't it OP? They say people who keep back information or lie say it in their sleep.
datsloblede 2
Oh, the curse of us sleep-talkers...
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah. Sleep talking can ruin a good set of lies. I'm glad I don't sleep talk. Haha.
WearingHats 14
He found out that she wasn't infertile after all.
NOOBSQUAD 0
I sleep talk, when someone talks to me when I'm sleeping I'll sometimes reply to them, and if I do I never remember it.
Codezlol 21
Wait so he told you you said something in your sleep? But he never gave details and just kicked you out of his house? You were asleep... He's a pretty inconsiderate person by the sounds of it.
Smokohauntas 3
72 - I don't know why but I feel as if her boyfriend could have made it up... By the sounds of it she has never been told before that she sleep-talks, and he didn't say what she "said".
Hershey903 5
It wasn't about her sleep talking. Turns out he's a secret alchemist, who has been working on the formula for a rare disease called Shemitesleeptalc. Won't go into details. Not important. Well, he was working early in the morning, and he accidently put the sulfur in with the rest of the prototype antidote, and it started bubbling up! Reactions came over him, and he dropped the bottle. The formula started growing and growing and growing! He knew what would happen, and woke up OP, told her to leave. The chemical grew into a gigantic blob, and is attacking the city. Now OP is living with her parents in a small suberb just south of Sacremento. While OP's boyfriend and the Military are trying to take down the Gigantic Blob-Monster. Oh the horror! *hides behind couch*
diego2k5 6
I talk in my sleep... luckily it's in Spanish and my wife speaks only English... for now :(
Tragichero92 12
This story, I like.
flipcrazy 0
That's stupid. Give him some time to cool off and talk to him in a week or so. I'm sure it'll be okay(:
flutter4 7
A week? That's a long time to "cool off" before talking again if you are in a relationship.
btstig 11
She needs to do something apparently she pissed him the shit off.
the_blind_wonder 1
That depends on what she said. Some people talk very clearly in their sleep. mher boyfriend might not realize that she was talking in her sleep and could be very upset. A week might be the perfect amount of time.
Perdition25 12
Sounds like an excuse to just leave you...
Dunvanation 4
I disagree because you don't have a phd. How can we trust you?
flutter4 7
Did you cheat and then confess?
Dunvanation 4
If she did than she deserved it so much more than big mr. Jojo deserves honey beams when hes being good! Yes？
bsmith9942 11
You could try using an app that records what you say in your sleep. Maybe you'll say it again.
Dixbfloppin 11
Just remember not to set the sensitivity too high, or else you'll hear your parents having sex.
XxEP1CFAC3xX 4
Is this kit b' smith??
Ren_Uchiha 11
do you happen to have the name of it? I'd like to try it.
bsmith9942 11
The name of the one I've used before is Sleep Sounds Recorder.
kayluhannemarie 9
38 - I use Dream Talk Recorder for iPhone - I love it! I say a lot of funny things in my sleep haha, I use it every night.
shaddol3lade 7
I bet nothin happenes
datsloblede 2
What??
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Translated: I bet nothing happened. That's how you would type that out, number eight.
tennisrapper1 14
Let's hope you didn't make fun of his balls or bacon. :/
flutter4 7
Yum bacon :)
HeartOfLead 24
Might have said his 'you know' looks like bacon and/or vise versa.
slimshadyfan123 4
Wow that's pretty inconsiderate of him!
lidsthesquid 4
Ya think?
br0ccoli 15
"His dick looks exactly like mine before the surgery. He doesn't even know. He doesn't even know... Turtle has been hidden."
ceccles628 6
This comment made my hour.
iliketurdles 7
B-b-but guys, I'm right here...
br0ccoli 15
Turtle!! I ******* love turtles! *petpetpetpetpetpetpet* 33-Glad To hear it :)
mckibben 7
That's not turtle. That's turDles. With a D. Imposter.