Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
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Comments (129)
momo1972 3
Oh just tell her that you never use condoms cause they are in the way
arlena95 0
Sounds EXACTLY like my mom...
ty1992_farmlife 12
That sucks..
falon142012 22
so…since she probably knows you're gonna have sex anyway, she DOESN'T want you to have protection?
ilovebigtimerush 0
She thinks taking away the protection will prevent them from having sex.
ilovebigtimerush 0
She thinks taking away the protection will prevent them from having sex.
nanihere 0
Sounds like Meet the Parents :)
Dcm210 19
her mom is a nutjob.
KiddNYC1O 22
The **** is wrong with her?
celticnate 0
Well if she had taken away the condoms, proudly get out the KY and say 'no problem'
bubo_fml 11
"Thanks for your concern Ma'am, but it's only anal & oral for us this weekend!"
thecovert 7
Good thing you had them in your pocket ;-)
bubo_fml 11
**** the Thanksgiving turkey...Unprotected...If they object, tell 'em it's Mum's fault for **** blockin'!