Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
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Comments (129)
OfficeNinja 5
....and when she did not find any, she gave me a box of 24 condoms, winked, and said "everyone in my family is a very sound sleeper - noises never wake us up". MLIA.
xrudeboyrock 29
This doesn't make much sense to me. Surely there was a couch in the house for you to sleep on if her mother is that adamant about you sleeping apart.
majorasshole 4
Run, just run. Like mother, like daughter.
julia_lynn 21
Uh, not necessarily. My mom makes my boyfriend and I sleep in separate rooms when we come to visit because she is super religious. After years of having religion forced down my throat, I'm pretty much anti-organized religion. So I think if I had kids later on and were in the same situation, I definitely wouldn't do the same thing. It's just stupid.
skinflint 6
#64: you say that because you don't have kids. take it from a child of a super religious mother (who overcompenated for having been raised in an alcoholic home), when you have kids you start to appreciate SOME of the crazy stuff your parents did.
Kishawn2 2
just tell her mom no glove no love... that shows what she thinks of her daughter
Majick13 1
do her on her parents bed...
chels1994 11
just being a bit cautious is all
ty1992_farmlife 12
61- I agree. All moms are like that when it comes to there daughters. My ex's mom jus as bad.
thatdesertdude 7
it seems OPs girlfriends mom has never heard of the other methods of birth control. You know, like Nuva ring or depo shots or IUDs..........good luck with that family OP!
jesskaisns 5
No longer thinking my parents are crazy.
aback 5
Next visit, pack some really nasty-looking sex toys.
OfficeNinja 5
Or say "hey it's ok - I'll just sleep in your other daughters room. Problem solved!"
nickbucci1252 0
So....go buy some and use him