Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML
Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML
Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
If you burst them from getting too fat, they will literally fall off you, too.
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
If you burst them from getting too fat, they will literally fall off you, too.