Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Meet the parents
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Stacy's Mom
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Oh no, please no
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Back to reality
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Awkward
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
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Comments (129)
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
blackheart24 10
Or there is always the Get Him to the Greek method where you hide the drugs (In this case condoms/birth control pills) up your butt. Very effective and easy to conceal.
malachai 0
Oh yeah considering if they do that 9 months later there will be 3 going through that same door.
LexiMariee16 0
Parents just get to me now days... would they rather have their child safe & protected, or pregnant with an STD? Seriously, it's not that hard of a decision! We are all going to have sex at one point or another.
boofgall 16
This sounds like the parents of a guy who I just broke up wth(best decision ever).
mojo87 14
#13, I'd certainly never risk it, yet I've known couples married for 20 years, where that actually worked for them... (and they actually successfully planned when they'd have their kids.) (I fully realise it's entirely unreliable, but it's hardly guaranteed that it will fail.)
mommabear0823 12
I know from personal experience that "pulling out" isn't always going to prevent pregnancy. Just like basketball you have to dribble a little before you shoot. Some men that dribble is enough to do it.
KaanTech 0
Hey any of you considered that they might want grand children ? No protection ?
duhWINNING2_fml 9
That isn't effective.
NorAnyOther 3
#49 Well, no birth control is 100% effective. Condoms can break; birth control can fail; hell, condoms and birth control together can still lead to pregnancy.
Mansta94 0
You know... I don't believe that always works. #experience
mommabear0823 12
105 I realize that, I was just stating that the "pull out" method is more likely to cause it.
danthehuman 29
Your picture matches perfectly #11.
RustlingSoul 26
27, the mother isn't an idiot. she knows sex without a comdom equals a kid or an STD. She does jot want them to have sex before marriage, and if they had comdoms or pills, guess what they were planning on doing.
n_epic_fail 14
Seems like you two don't have to worry about grand-kids pressure any time soon.
thisisafunnyname 12
maybe she was checking for birth control pills and condoms cause she wanted them to have grandkids
iRiS890 5
Then why would she want them in separate bedrooms? I think she'd have set up a love nest if she wanted them to procreate.
claudio117 12
Well she sounds over paranoid good luck op
MrSarcasm 4
If he has nothing to hide, he has nothing to fear.
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
You would think since it's her house that she would have known there were no extra rooms.
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
icelalyubila 6
Thanks for the tip haha
Ijas 2
Thanks for the shaft
michaeljcaboose 7
How old were you when you grew your condom??? Mine hasn't grown on yet...
CabooseWins 0
60- Make sure you get one, so you don't have babies. Because don't you hate babies?
lildevil963 0
haha @60 epic reference
EvilCupcake8361 9
If your old enough to live on your own, it's really none of her business though even though she should take birth control.
hawaiianfire 0
Momma said, you need to be married before you eat the forbidden fruit!
emilieee_fml 0
Should? Do you know what birth control can do to a womans chances of getting pregnant when she actually wants to?
touch_the_sky 7
47 - Not shit. reminds me of a crazy Jesus freak teacher I had in high school that told us if you take birth control, you'll end up barren. Lmao. My mom was on the pills for 10 years and when she stopped taking them she got pregnant 3 weeks later.
joa76 3
Little science fact, #47. Taking the pill has no effect whatsoever on one's fertility after taking the pill (except perhaps in the first month or so as the body readjusts). If a woman IS less fertile after being on the pill, it is only because she is older and fertility decreases with age. And if you have trouble getting pregnant after going off the pill, and you've never been pregnant before, how do you know you wouldn't have had the same trouble regardless?
QuarterOPie 3
just shit on her face on poke holes in her condums
Strafeh 9
YDI For sleeping...
Mooish 18
Why ydi? We all need to sleep.
THE_A_TEEN 28
She's right, I was a leutenant back in '96 when we had a very important mission to assasinate a weapon smuggler, the top priority on our list. It was in prypiat, I was sleeping when the window of opportunity to assasinate the guy passed. Needless to say, he's still alive and the main catalist for WWIII. Sleeping is not an option!!!!!
osiris39p 3
So... When you were two years old, you were killing people? Are you Stewie griffin or some shit?
FlyingWhisps 5
Did she find them? You have to conceal these things in a very discreet place. Like for example: I strap them around my thigh, nobody looks there.
FYLDeep 26
Can't you sleep on a couch or something?